parinoid

Hey everyone, this think I hallucinate an sometimes I hope I do with what happens.
A couple weeks ago I made a mistake while I was learning how to buy and sell contracts on the stock market I lost a couple hundred dollars. What happened is I live alone and when I was following my professors buy order I felt someone come right up behind me and peak over my shoulder to see what I was doing in my phone . I kinda froze an suddenly thought I know how to play the stock market an I didn’t carry out the order cause I thought I know what I was doing . Not sure why i thought that being I’m learning , either way I pressed to button like 30secends to late an did not lose but I also did not gain much . And then I heard he’s the reason we lost he didn’t show us how to preform the proper order and then I felt punch’s on my face and head coming from all around there was a few people around me just punching my face and head this happened in my living room as I was going to my other room when as I kept walking the punches stopped or I no longer felt them . The next day I heard them say they almost killed me an left me blind . But I’m here now and not blind . To me it’s real and my body is like dying and I don’t know how to deal with it they say it’s because I lost their money on that contract buy because I hit the button late . I hear people in my house an I live alone . It’s not like I hear them in front of me it’s more like they in the other room an I hear them low an sometimes muffled .

Hi people I use medication everyday I’m hurt I can’t change what’s wrong with me and I fell like my use of meds has shortened my health . I’m not intrigued in death at the moment not sure if I’d ever be but it’s something to avoid for me . Idk if I can say this here but my heart is swollen my doctor told me that like seven years ago . I’m scared and don’t know enough about life to understand how to be born again #ChronicPain #Depression #PTSD #ADHD #parinoid #mentalillnesses