A Letter to Mothers, From a Woman With Polycystic Ovary Syndrome
To my friends/family who are mothers,
I want you to know I first, I absolutely love seeing pictures of you and your happy children. I am so incredibly happy for you and your family when you reach milestones before and after birth, and I adore your perfect child(ren). But please understand I am also jealous.
You see, I do not know if I will ever get what you have, and that upsets me. I have a condition that could very well mean I will never bear a child. I may never carry them inside me, and see them on an ultrasound, or hear their heartbeat on the monitor. I may never feel their little feet kicking, putting pressure on my bladder, feel my feet and ankles swell up, get food cravings. I may never get what you have experienced. I may never get to breastfeed, or practice natural “skin on skin” contact with my baby. I may never experience a 20-hour labour or get to complain about not losing my “baby weight.” I see you complain about some of these things, and you have no idea how much I hope that maybe someday I’ll get to experience every single bit of it.
Yes, I can adopt, and I more than likely will. Don’t get me wrong, I will love that child just as my own, but that doesn’t mean I do not wish I could have the pregnancy. As it is I know it will be hard for me to get pregnant, and if I do, I have a higher chance of miscarriage. Please understand you have a gift not all women have. You can give life and carry it inside your body. It’s beautiful and wonderful, I am truly jealous of it.
Signed,
A woman you know with polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) and infertility issues
Image via Thinkstock.
I am a 25 year-old, who has been living with various chronic illnesses, mental and physical. I wanted to write for The Mighty to be able to be my own advocate and to show people what it is like to have these conditions.
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