Thanks to my therapist for introducing me to the Mighty. Another platform to ventilate my useless biographies and needs I suppose..
It's 12:41 am. This is where I struggle the most, trying to fall asleep.
I lashed out at my husband earlier. I was very anxious and upset. I was trying to cash my check at amscott 2 hours ago but they bounced it because the company didn't pay out the place I cashed it at last time; furiously I went to my managers at night at they merely said call payroll.
Does anything matter anymore ??
Everything gives me a headache.
Anxiety. Stress. Worry and Pain.
Sigh; holding back my frustrations in the car ride home I begin to wonder to myself what is the cycle of life other than working, skipping and avoiding all social events and suffering.
I feel bad I got mad at him, but with my mental health as it is I realize he is so strong.
How can he just fall asleep at peace so fast.
My husband just looks at me one more time..rolls over and is snoring now.
Me ? It takes 5 hours to fall asleep from chronic insomnia and constant worry.
Daily adulting activities that are so simple and painless to normal folks but take so much energy out of me because I am anxiously anxious, or bipolar whichever ya know.
My PCOS feels tame tonight __ yet the ever so painful experience of not being able to bear children lingers over me like a black fog.
Demonically reminding me every night that I am barren and cannot carry.
Tonight ? Just plain sucks. Maybe there's always tommorow ❤️