Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS)

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Lack Of Energy

I’m coming up with excuses as reasons not to hang out with a friend. In reality, I just don’t have the energy to be able to do that today. Not right now at least. And that’s the thing with chronic pain and illness. I’m now starting to see and feel the effects. As I have gotten older, I have had to grieve life before as I knew it.
Years of battling eating disorders, mental health issues, trauma, and physical health issues have taken a toll on my body and I’m still nowhere near answers as to what is wrong with me, making me feel like I am crazy.
How do you tell a friend because of your health you don’t have the energy to hang out with him when he takes things personal? How do you tell your family members you love them and want to hang out with them but you just don’t have the energy to be around people or in the general public when you hardly see some of them because they live in Louisiana and East Texas? How do you tell your close school friends that you want to be at that party later but you have a bbq and pool party already reserved for that day and by the end of you will no longer have the energy to be doing anything more? How can you have so little energy when before, you were up for anything- stayed out at bars until 2 am, took midnight trips to walk on the beach at Galveston, hiked, kickboxed, strength-trained, danced, and ran every morning while doing chores and going to college? How did everything fall apart to having little to no energy and spending part time in a wheelchair and part time on crutches after years of being mobile, physical, and having energy despite battling a deadly eating disorder? And suddenly now that I’m in recovery, my body seems to be shutting down. I’ll find out soon if it’s PCOS or something else causing the nausea, digestive issues, hormone imbalances, and non-healing bone injuries to my hips and spine. I’ve been in recovering long enough that my eating disorder shouldn’t be causing any issues. But what if it’s only that that’s wrong? What if it’s more? What if is PCOS and what will my life look like after the diagnosis? My medical team had narrowed it down to that. Now I await answers. How does one go about life in the meantime, not knowing what’s wrong while friends want to hang out? This road is long and it is isolating and like many, I feel alone. I also know I’m not the only one who feels the way I do. For that, I’m thankful for the sense of community and would love to be a voice for others as well when they can’t put things into words. Now we wait. #EatingDisorder #IBS #PolycysticOvarySyndrome #lackofenergy

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Where is Hope? She is so quiet today.

At 6 it was sexual abuse
At 12 it was type 1 diabetes
At 14 it was IBS
At 16 it was PCOS
At 17 they took my gallbladder
At 18 It was Anxiety/Depression
At 20 It became agoraphobia with panic
At 21 Chronic pain began
At 23 it was Migraines
At 24 it was GERD and reflux
At 25 it was kidney stones
At 27 It was fibromyalgia
At 29 it was CFS
At 31 it was balance/vertigo issues
At 32 it was IC
At 34 it became PPPD

I turned 36 two weeks ago and spent it in the ER and still don't know what happened.

Today I am depressed, discouraged, and desperate for some hope.

I'm Christian and I have been praying for answers.

So I thought I'd lay my burdens here and see if you Mighty Warriors have anything to share with me.

I wish you all the best in your own battles as well.


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Medication Question 💊

I’m currently on four medications to help my bipolar disorder mainly. I take two nightly meds which help me sleep tremendously and I’m on Lamictal and Latuda during the day. My moods still are all over the place. My sleep schedule has slightly changed (by a few hours) and I do take the medication at slightly different hours as well but only by a couple of hours difference tops. Maybe I’m sleeping too much? Sleeping less is what usually triggers my mania. During the week, I can be depressive, anxious, I was derealizing last week and this week I’ve felt a little uppity as in manic. I’m a bit stressed over not working currently but I feel more stressed at the idea of going back to work and feeling this way. I used to smoke weed to calm me down but I’m afraid of addiction and I can’t function the entire day on weed. Any advice? I may see my psychiatrist next week and I can report the symptoms. I have PCOS and I know that contributes to low mood so I am going to the doctor for that this week. Thanks for reading my post!

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Beautiful Days :)

The last couple of days have been amazing. My mood has been so much better and I’m beginning to feel like life is enjoyable again. Is it the weather? The sun making an appearance finally, reminding us that spring too will be here in a little while? It definitely helps. On beautiful days like these I go for short walks and practice mindfulness to stay in the moment. While not much has been going on externally, dealing with health issues like PCOS every day has an effect on mood. But I hope to find a solution for that soon. I’m just extremely grateful for days as radiant as these where I want to hug the earth and for an improved mood that has me smiling. It’s the little things in life. #PolycysticOvarySyndrome #MentalHealth

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I'm proud of you

Hey, friends. Here is a picture of my hiking boots. I took a trip to a local rock beach and splashed around a bit in the mouth of a creek. I felt happy, and even if my week has been much less than happy so far, I'm holding on to the fact that I felt happy a few days ago. And I will feel happy again.

Some really empowering words that I don't hear often enough are, "I'm proud of you." Although I don't feel like I deserve to hear these words, I need them. So I wanted to share them with you. Wherever you are in your health journey, whatever progress you've made this week, whatever your struggle looks like right now... I am proud of you.

All the best, friends. :) #Arthritis #AutismSpectrumDisorder #ChronicFatigue #MentalHealth #PolycysticOvarySyndrome

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