What You Need to Know If You've Ever Said 'I'm So Triggered'

Dear classmates, friends and general people who have ever insincerely said the words “I’m so triggered,”

• What is PTSD?

There is nothing funny about being triggered. There is absolutely nothing funny about it. There is nothing remotely funny about it.

There is nothing funny about shaking like the last autumn leaf, curling into a ball for seemingly no particular reason in the middle of a family gathering.

There is nothing funny having every single bad memory rush through your head. There is nothing funny about feeling that moment exactly how you felt it then. There is absolutely nothing funny about hallucinations screaming at you, molesting you, tormenting you for what feels like more than an eternity.

There is nothing funny about starting to bawl in front of all your friends, simply because of a little thing. They’re eating hot dogs, and that’s a trigger. You saw someone who looked like your abuser, and that’s a trigger. You heard a loud noise, and that’s a trigger.

A trigger is not something that mildly pisses you off. A trigger is not something that mildly annoys you. A trigger is sometimes not even tangible. It’s a look. A glance. A haircut. A noise. A laugh.

A trigger is something that violently throws you into a sea of emotion and memory. A trigger is something that pulls you down, hard. A trigger is something that brings up everything you’ve worked hard to hide under the surface, shoving it into the light until you’re not just floating on this sea, keeping your head above water. No, you’re scared you’ll drown.

A trigger is something that causes pain. Pure pain. Physical for some, but always mental. A trigger causes such suffering that you want to detach yourself from your body so bad it burns. A trigger is something that can cause dissociation, to the point that people shut down completely, having no control over their body because they need to heal all over again.

A trigger is nothing to be made light of. A trigger is not funny. And if you think there’s something amusing about watching your best friend curl up into a ball and seemingly pass out for an hour, when really she was banging her fists against her own mind’s restraints, begging to be let out. If you think there’s something funny watching your uncle scream at you as he relives the gunshots that killed his comrades. If you think there’s something funny watching people suffer over, and over, and over again? Then there is something wrong with you.

Sincerely,

Someone who is sick and tired of your jokes.