The Mighty Logo

When a Man at the Pizza Parlor Said I 'Needed a Do-over' After My Son's Premature Birth

The most helpful emails in health
Browse our free newsletters

Dear sir at the pizza parlor,

What you thought was a joke was in fact an insensitive comment. I don’t need to be reminded by a complete stranger that I might have missed out on a few experiences by giving birth 17 weeks early. But to imply my son’s life should not be celebrated and almost dismissed is absurd. He fought like hell to live. What you fail to realize is that despite his early arrival, we have gained so much more than we “lost.” We believe God has redeemed the time like never before.

You tried to spark a conversation after seeing Jaxson and myself in line paying for our food. You asked how old and what gender my child is. Being polite, I answered and told you I have a son and he is 11 months. “So when are you having another one?” you asked, even though we’d never met before.”Not anytime soon,” I replied. “We are OK with just one right now. We have had a long journey with him being born premature and spending months in the NICU.”

Some may say I opened myself up to your “candor,” and to that I disagree. I had no idea this brief chit chat would take a turn. You said to me, “definitely need to have another one, you need a do over!”

To say I was completely shocked is an understatement. Jaxson has been home for eight months now, and just about everywhere we go, someone has something to say. I have pretty much heard it all. But this one, well this time was different.

I have never thought to myself that my husband and I need to have another child just to get a “do over.” There is no guarantee if I were to get pregnant again I would go full term. Because of everything that has happened, I am now considered “high risk,” and the road to giving birth would be quite complex. The decision would be one my husband and I make because we want to expand our family.

mom and baby smiling

People may look at what we’ve gone through and think different things. Some may look at our blessing as a curse or something we should feel bad about or ashamed of. But we choose to celebrate the miracle that is Jaxson. God has blessed us and enhanced our lives so much.

If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn’t change a thing. I did everything right. There wasn’t anything more I could personally do to have prevented the early arrival of my son. Of course in the beginning I beat myself up about everything and blamed my body for “failing” me. But I didn’t do anything to compromise the health of my baby. And because of our journey, so many others have been blessed and will continue to gain insight and inspiration.

So no, Mr. Pizza Guy, I don’t need a “do-over.” I am completely happy with my life and how everything turned out for us.

Have you ever had to deal with rude comments from strangers in regards to your baby? If so, how do you deal with it?

Follow this journey on Miracle Mama.

Originally published: August 3, 2016
Want more of The Mighty?
You can find even more stories on our Home page. There, you’ll also find thoughts and questions by our community.
Take Me Home