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To the 4-Month-Old Still in the NICU

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Four months old.

You are 4 months old.

I can’t believe it.

It was just yesterday, I swear.

Just yesterday you were still in my tummy. Just yesterday we found out you would have to be born so early.

Just yesterday we were given your odds.

Just yesterday we were hoping your grandma would make it in time.

Just yesterday we cut ourselves off from the world.

Just yesterday only immediate family knew what was happening.

Just yesterday our world stopped.

Just yesterday we were praying that if we could have just your heart beating that would be enough.

Just yesterday your daddy almost lost both of us.

Just yesterday we went into surgery.

Just yesterday we had more than our prayers answered.

Just yesterday your heart was beating when you were born.

Just yesterday you screamed when you were born.

Just yesterday you were whisked away.

Just yesterday your daddy left me to follow you.

Just yesterday Momma found out that Grandma had made it.

Just yesterday you were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

Just yesterday you weighed 1 pound, 13 ounces.

Just yesterday you were 13 inches long.

Just yesterday.

We’ve been through a lot, little girl.

A lot more than any 4-month-old should ever have gone through.

It wasn’t just yesterday.

It was 124 days ago.

It was over one-third of a year ago.

It wasn’t just yesterday.


Today you are still here.

Today you are more than a statistic.

Today you are silly.

Today you are sassy.

Today you are beautiful.

Today you are smiley.

Today you are a brave girl.

Today you are a fighter.

Today you have grown.

Today you have stolen our hearts.

Today you have defied any odds.

Today you stared prematurity in the face.

Today you have your game face on.

Today you are your own person.

Today you have your own personality.

Today you are 9, pounds 4 ounces.

Today you are 20 inches long.

Today you are gorgeous.

Today you are your daddy’s world.

Today you are your momma’s girl.

We have been through a lot, little girl.

Today you are 4 months old.

The author's baby in the hospital, wearing a beanie with bows and ribbons with patterns of peace signs, polka dots, and gemstones

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Originally published: May 31, 2017
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