We’ve been through things a lot of people can’t even imagine.
We have seen our precious little ones lay there with tubes and wires all over them, laying in a plastic box, fighting for their life. An “isolate” as they call it, but let’s just call it like it is. The NICU has came up with all these terms perhaps to make us feel better about certain things, but I still see the reality of how it is and it still manages to break my heart.
We’ve mourned the “normal” experience of taking home little chunky babies after we’ve given birth and having family hold and see them. Instead, we are terrified of anyone coming near our fragile little ones due to RSV, and we know even a simple cold could kill our little ones.
We have waited days, weeks, and for some even months to hold our little ones and just breathe in their scent.
We’ve watch our babies grow, eyes develop, and their skin thicken from the outside.
Many of us never had the chance to do maternity pictures, have a baby shower with a big giant pregnant belly or even finish a nursery before they’re born.
Even though all these things have broken our hearts and there’s a lot of things we have missed out on, we have something that a lot of people don’t have: we have a community. We have each other to lean on when times get rough and confusing. We have each other to talk to when other people just don’t get it, because they’ve never been through these things. We have made friends among each other who we know will be there any time of the night.
I am thankful for one preemie mom who has talked me through panic attacks and talked to me from 11 pm to 5 am because I was so terrified of things that can happen.
I’m thankful I have someone to text with every new thing that happens with my daughter during her NICU stay, so I can get advice and feel I’m never alone.
I have that, all because of our community.
This is something I never imagined or even thought of being a part of. But I am so thankful we have each other.
So here’s to you, my fellow preemie moms. Thank you for giving me the strength, advice and courage to keep going. I’m starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
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