I don't know how to explain how I'm feeling; I'm torn between stopping my meds because "what good are they doing anyway?" and taking more because "it doesn't matter, what's the worst that could happen?"
I have my usual urges that are becoming harder to fight; the urge to pull, pick and hurt myself. As well as random urges such as wanting to sit outside in the rain on my own without a coat, to sit in the middle of the floor hugging my knees and tearing at my hair, to scream and punch walls.
It's almost like an urge to have a full emotional and mental breakdown, or to let the breakdown I've been holding off come to the surface.
What is wrong with me #questions #breakdown #reasoning #medicaton #Selfharm #Urges