breakdown

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    Community Voices

    I’m really reaching out for help Iv tried with other people and I can not place what’s happening to me. I was in mental hospital a few months ago and was told to come off of my lithium which I was put on 3 years ago when I had my son and was sectioned. Iv always had a bpd diagnosis. Apparently I don’t have bipolar anymore so I came off lithium from 1000 down by 200 every week side effects was horrible being sick etc..been off lithium for nearly 4 weeks I’m hallucinating the last couple of weeks and it has been getting worse I’m under my crisis team and waiting to see a dr on Tuesday. I’m not convinced I don’t have bipolar as when you can come off lithium it can cause another man I episode. What I’m struggling with are my hallucinations I’m hearing things and looking at objects and they are coming to life especially my kids teddies that are saying evil things to me but in my voice..are these hallucinations or are these me just having a vivid imagination? I’m confused with if they are hallucinations and I wondered if anyone could help please as I’m going out of my mind. I’m having to wait for the crisis team then when they leave take clorazepam to make me sleep as I can’t be in my head at the moment. I tried colouring yesterday which I was able to do for a while but then the objects Jist turned into evil faces. #hallucinate #Hallucinations #Bipolar #BPD

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    Community Voices
    A

    Bad news all around

    They say if you love them, let them go. And like most things, it’s easier said than done.

    My boyfriend broke up with me today. Completely out of the blue. I had seen him yesterday and everything was going great, we had even made plans for another date. And then he sends a long message today which the TLDR of was that he wanted to break up.

    The best part was this paragraph was sent after I had just had my hearing test and was told I had hearing loss. I told him that news and an hour later he breaks up with me.

    The rest of the day has just consisted of breakdown after breakdown. Now I’m just drained of energy, both physically and emotionally.

    I was already thinking about getting therapy when I move. I think I might have to get it sooner.

    #breakup #HearingLoss #Breakdowns #breakdown #EmotionallyExhausted #exhausted #BadNews #done

    Community Voices

    Tired

    Today has been a really bad fucking day. I got woken up by my new puppy at 5 am, cleaned after her, threw up, then I overslept for work and missed a meeting. I feel so uncomfortable in my own skin.

    I keep going out with the puppy and she still pees and poops at home and I just broke down. When she wants to play she bites me and she doesn’t listen – obviously because she’s a puppy.

    And I just miss my Bella. So now I’m having breakdown and I can’t stop crying and I cried outside and I’m so angry all the time and I hate being me so much.

    I just really don’t want to exist. I don’t want to wake up and be in the office the entire day and I don’t want to be all alone during the weekend and then do the whole fucking week again.

    #breakdown

    Community Voices

    Post breakdown

    <p>Post breakdown</p>
    14 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    Nervous breakdown

    I'm in so much pain, I feel like I can't go on but I can't have this breakdown that I think I need because I have to stay afloat for everyone. I feel like I'm alone because I can't share with my family or friends. I'm lost and I just want to find myself before I'm too far gone. I don't want to leave my daughter but I think she would be better off without me, I don't feel like I'm a good example for her, I don't want her to grow up and be like me. I want better for her, I don't want her to look up to me.
    #breakdown

    Community Voices
    A

    Month since last post

    <p>Month since last post</p>
    7 people are talking about this
    Community Voices
    Community Voices
    Cat

    So close to moving date and had a breakdown today. #Anxiety

    So today I sold my fridge, I posted it online for $250 and someone abruptly and rudely said $150, I had a bad feeling about them but as all the other offers fell through I accepted. I spent two hours feeling cleaning it. When they got here and gave me the money I got a message when they were loading it asking for $50 back because they weren't happy with the condition due to scratches (I said in the posting it had cosmetic damage). My partner said don't give them any money back, especially because they had already taken it downstairs and they could have damaged it. The whole thing caused my paranoia to skyrocket, I was worried they would do something. I felt sick and ended up in tears due to it. I have an end of lease clean booked tomorrow through the same website and I'm scared and untrusting now.

    I'm also stressed about finishing all the packing and whether everything will fit for this last trip, especially all the cat stuff.

    Also no mattresses so sleeping on the ground for two nights, hopefully I don't get too sore.

    #Anxiety #Depression #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #Paranoia #MentalHealth #breakdown #PanicAttack #Jointpain #ChronicPain #Scolosis #EhlersDanlosSyndrome

    10 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    Been feeling really lost. Used to go through life happy and active.Very motivated to workout and enjoy art and nature. Outdoors. Lots of Traveling and very functional. Made some choices about work. Felt overwhelmed as a supervisor. Quit and went to different company then found myself laid off for a long time. Then conflicts between wife and my immediate family triggered a mental breakdown. Separation, moved out. Insomnia. Guilt. Self blame. Constant Suicidal thoughts. A week in mental hospital. A year and a half later, many meds, TMS. I still have trouble sleeping. Making simple decisions. Barely hanging on. Not thinking clearly. Feel like I’m in a constant fog. No stability. No roots. Everything is in storage. Alone in a hotel room, currently trying to work some labor job. Feel clumsy and everything feels wrong. Job is dirty and bad for health. At this point in my life (50) I feel like I should be so much better than this. Feel like a failure. Traveling and pretending things are ok. Not organized. Can’t seem to move forward. Can’t seem to create a change or a routine or a vision of my future. Can’t sleep well. No motivation or joy in activities or outdoors. So much confusion and self doubt. Want to be positive but feel like I have lost my way and my cognitive ability. I must make big decisions about divorce. About work. About life. Don’t know what to do or how long I can keep this up! Keep thinking like I want a do over. How to regain control of my life?

    2 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    Torn between polar opposites

    I don't know how to explain how I'm feeling; I'm torn between stopping my meds because "what good are they doing anyway?" and taking more because "it doesn't matter, what's the worst that could happen?"
    I have my usual urges that are becoming harder to fight; the urge to pull, pick and hurt myself. As well as random urges such as wanting to sit outside in the rain on my own without a coat, to sit in the middle of the floor hugging my knees and tearing at my hair, to scream and punch walls.
    It's almost like an urge to have a full emotional and mental breakdown, or to let the breakdown I've been holding off come to the surface.
    What is wrong with me #questions #breakdown #reasoning #medicaton #Selfharm #Urges

    2 people are talking about this