Sharing the Load With the Invisible Army of Caregivers
This is a love letter to all the 53 million family caregivers out there.
XOXO HZ
• The Mighty’s Caregiving Toolkit
Dear “Invisible Army,”
As we enter National Family Caregiver Month, I want you to know I am here for you.
I am your advocate, defender and non-judgmental friend you may lean on.
I hear your secret cries in the shower, cars and bathroom stalls alone.
I understand the frustration and sadness of what was and what is.
I see you when you are in the shadows and behind the scenes making sure your loved ones have the spotlight as you find your light fading.
All 53 million of you.
I feel your isolation, pain, guilt, shame and loss of self.
I share in your triumph of having 15 minutes alone.
I grant you grace when you are barely treading water.
I will emphasize self-compassion for you are only human.
I will breathe with you when the doctor brushes you off, because how could you who are on the clock 24/7 and deal with crisis after crisis on a daily basis possibly know what is going on with your loved one when you didn’t choose to go into this field.
I will advocate for you when work questions “Again? Didn’t something just happen?” Yes, I will say with you, and say yes it did just happen and it will happen again and again and thank you for the support and shared understanding.
I will not apologize anymore with you for the chaos that is ours and embrace it.
I hand you my voice to advocate for yourself.
I give permission to you to start putting boundaries so you may find your joy again.
I empower you to dig into your trauma and acknowledge your grief.
I will hold this safe space for you to begin your forgiveness journey of self and others.
I gift you light and love to fill the cracks of your broken heart and spirit so you may begin to rebuild both to become stronger and greater.
I laugh with you at the healing power of dark humor.
I will challenge you to find the beauty in this difficult life we lead.
I will gladly conduct this hot mess express and advance us into the light.
I want you to know I am here for you.
I am your advocate, defender and non-judgmental friend you may lean on.
Love,
One of 53 million.
Originally from Kentucky, Heather visited family in Colorado and Wyoming and knew that was where she wanted to be. She moved to Laramie, WY in 1995 and has never looked back. She studied Dance and Theatre at the University of Wyoming. After relocating to Fort Collins in 2002 Heather taught dance in dance studios and brain compatible dance education in public schools. Heather founded The Arch Foundation (TAF) in 2017, after becoming a caregiver to her eldest son, Connor. Connor was injured in a vehicle-pedestrian accident while walking to school on March 10th, 2015, resulting in a catastrophic spinal cord injury. Heather quickly recognized the gap that exists for caregivers from this personal experience, experiencing extreme mental and physical exhaustion and a loss of self. After much research and conversation with other caregivers, Heather found a common theme: Caregivers are an often forgotten part of the rehabilitation and recovery process and there was a need to provide opportunities for caregivers to learn to practice self-care. Heather has built strategic partnerships, engaged volunteers, and community outreach efforts within the caregiver community. Heather took her firsthand, human experience with caregiving, and translated a background in brain-compatible dance education, her high emotional intelligence, and strong community partnerships to begin building a network of support for family caregivers and become an agent of change. You can also find Heather in her role as Disability Integration Lead for the American Red Cross as well on deployment when disaster strikes. Heather is married to Matt and mom to Connor and Max. Heather loves being outside in the Colorado hills, reading and writing, cooking, dancing, and a good lemon drop.
hlzoccali