Lost my " Cro-jo" along with my zest for life. #betrayed #nocro -jo #whatwouldyoudo ?
See this shawl? I was making it for a family member who requested it. I am stuck due to anger at her.
I can hardly write it down here. And the info is sketchy from both sides of this situation. I am pretty sure I will never know the truth.in the past there are times neither of the two family members have been honest ( to save their own necks). As the wounded by these folks & their actions, I am eaten up with self recrimination. I should have known better, should have seen between the lines, should have raised holy hell when I found out what was going on...... All I can say is at that time I was hurt, stunned these folks threw each other under the bus.... But no clear culprit or action was owned up to. No one apologized for causing me harm. And for the last 4 years or so.... I have shut down. I simply can not " fake normal" anymore.
I guess its time to pull this weed up & examine it with my therapist tomorrow. It sure is hurting me today.
Thanks for letting me have a place to hash it out.
#spittingmad #familygrudge ?