is the losing interest and becoming someone you can’t even recognize anymore. A few years ago, I was so different from who I am today: happier, carefree, active, extremely social and adventurous. But depression quite literally sucked almost everything out of me and left this sad, horrific mess. I don’t even talk to my friends anymore, I can barely remember the last time I went hiking or took pictures... I’m just so upset seeing this new version of myself because she’s not me. I hate thinking of her as “me.” She’s cold, less interesting, extremely sad, and boring. This new me just wants to stay home all day and be depressed, then complain about how she’s so bored and wants to go out. But I pushed everyone away. I have no one except my boyfriend. I pushed my friendships out the door and it’s no one’s fault but my own.

I want to go back to being me. I feel like a stranger in this body. I miss when I was happier and lighter. I don’t know how to get back to her though, and I’m afraid she’ll never return.

#Depression #Mentalillnesssucks #tiredofdepression