In Case Your Brain is Being Mean to You Today, Here's 49 Things That Don't Define Your Worth

Trauma sucks.

I could write 200 to 300 words worth of an introduction that, when stripped away, would say the exact same thing. Thus, I’ll save you the time.

Trauma. Sucks.

When you’ve experienced trauma that makes you question your value as a person, you may find other ways to supplement your worth. We put high stakes in how we look, how clean our apartment is, how much money we make, or whoever we’re dating because that makes us feel more “worthy.” It may work for a short amount of time, until that same thing you placed all your worth and value in breaks you.

In case you’ve been like me and you put so much effort into your external optics because you’re afraid that you’ll never be wanted if you aren’t perfect (a therapy conversation for sure), here’s a list of all the things that don’t define you, your worth, or value as a human being:

1. How much money you make.

2. What car you drive.

3. How long it took you to admit that you weren’t OK.

4. The last time you cleaned your car.

5. How you look.

6. Your successes.

7. Your failures.

8. The people who treated you poorly.

9. Your abusers.

10. How long it took you to apply yourself.

11. The people who love you.

12. How much soda you drink.

13. How often you eat “clean.”

14. How “high functioning” you are with your mental conditions.

15. How full your beard is.

16. Whether you’re salaried or hourly.

17. Your college degree.

18. What part you got in the school play.

19. Your “body count.”

20. How many dishes are in your sink.

21. How long it took you to go to the doctor.

22. The last time you did laundry.

23. How often you work out.

24. How much cake you had today.

25. How you dress.

26. How long it took you to let go of what doesn’t serve you.

27. Your partner.

28. Your mistakes.

29. Where you live.

30. Whether you have a job.

31. Your credit score.

32. How long it took you to end that relationship.

33. When you got married.

34. If you go to church.

35. How long it took you to quit that job.

36. How many children you have.

37. Whether or not you have children.

38. How long it takes you to text your friends back.

39. Where you grew up.

40. Where you currently live.

41. How long it took you to admit you’re struggling.

42. What college you went to.

43. Your G.P.A.

44. How often you go to church.

45. How many likes your post got on Instagram.

46. The number of followers you have.

47. The mistakes you made at your worst.

48. How long it took you to say “I love you.”

49. How long it took you to say “Never contact me again.”

None of the above matters. They may impact parts of our lives, sure, but what they don’t do is define your worth as a human being. They don’t make you a “bad” person, or someone who is “unforgivable” or whatever unfair judgment you may have thrown onto yourself.  

You are not your mistakes. You are not the people who hurt you. Only you can define your worth.