I’ve been wallowing in self pity, I know deep down that all the problems I currently have are of my own doing and that I can still get out of them if I want but I’m doing nothing to change them, I enjoy this dangerous habit . I’m off sick from work as a nurse because I justified not doing the work properly as a mental health problem, well I said it was my fault and that I’m lying but I didn’t go in for shifts, I woke up knowing I could actually go in, did it a few times so my manager thinks I have stress and anxiety that is stopping me doing it. I know I don’t have one. I haven’t been part of the team, would be quiet and look anxious because I didn’t want to look silly or ask new things so I’ll never progress that way and I know that being off sick is only avoiding doing more and I’ll feel like I know even less when I go back. Whilst being off I’ve gone to the gym less and binge eaten, then an excuse is that if I’ve eaten so many calories what’s the point now of trying to burn them off, well obviously there is lol. Then I’ll complain I’ve put on weight like it’s not all my fault. I’m useless, completely useless. (Well I’m not, another excuse). I have the best friends and family that some people don’t have who actually have mental health problems which I know makes me an awful person as I’ve just complained and gained sympathy from them. I know I can do so much before it’s too late but I know I don’t want to- my life will only get worse and I’ll look at other people’s lives and wonder why I don’t have what they do. This might be a ridiculous question bc I’m actually a joke, can you get psychotherapy for self pitying? when in reality I have just got to stop being an arsehole on your own. As I’m currently on the waiting list for talking therapies #Selfpity #wallowinginselfpity #destructive