After finally coming out of a month-long downswing, my boss called to reprimand me for taking too long on a supposedly simple PowerPoint presentation. For 45 minutes and 23 seconds, she criticized everything I had accomplished in the past week and the last two years of my job. I am devastated and feel like I'm slipping back into a non-chemical downswing. She repeatedly said, "I'm neurodivergent, and you are making things so much harder for me," as if I could have known that or that her frustration was my fault. I'm worried I'm headed for a mixed episode now, and those are heartbreakingly confusing for me.

I have so much sympathy for those with AuDHD, but I feel like her diagnosis is an excuse, and mine is an albatross around my neck. WHY DID I DISCLOSE TO HER??? Every single time I feel like I can trust someone, it amounts to nothing. I was crying by halfway through, and she just... kept going... as if I wasn't super emotional.

I don't know how long I can keep working if this is how I'm consistently going to be treated. I can't possibly be that big of a screw up, can I?

#livingwithbipolar #WorkingWithDisability #Burnout