I think I am going to use this as a reflecting log on my feelings thought’s experiences struggles triumphs questions concerns.
When one day something works and the next day it makes it worse.
Something I have been struggling with is SLOWING DOWN. I do not know how to without literally going insane in my mind .
If you new the driven perfectionist seen not heard mother I had, it would probably make more sense.
That’s neither here nor there. I can’t do it, not that I don’t want to do it. Try try again till you succeed. I’ve taken baby steps here and there and listen to my body in the moment as much as I can.
Working is a love hate. I don’t mind the work I find it quite easy actually and it is primarily sitting down desk job 80/20 sometimes 90/10. Im just bored. Still have to drive in 30 min round trip. The pay cut was by 1/2. It kills me knowing I could probably easily go get a job in my pay realm of experience and knowledge. Issue my body.
I know me well enough. Im a sponge I absorb it all. Living vs … who knows if I push myself past the limits now…
#MixedConnectiveTissueDiseaseMCTD #MentalHealth #Anxiety #RaynaudsPhenomenon #RheumatoidArthritis #AutonomicDysfunction #ADHD