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Dear Men: Taking Care of Your Mental Health Is Sexy

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This one’s for you, men. You are amazing people. You can be providers, supporters, fighters and lovers. You are fathers and grandfathers, brothers and sons. Yes. But you are supposed to be strong and show no signs of struggle or weakness? No. You are human. You hurt, you feel, you emote and you break. And after you do that, you are still a man. You are not immune to mental illness and you are entitled to support and help if it strikes.

It really pains me to see men feel like there’s stigma around taking care of their mental health. Male suicide rates are high, and often they wait too long before seeking help.

Well let me tell you something: The strongest men I have ever seen in my life, who were physically, mentally and emotionally strong, I have also seen cry. I have seen them worry, seen them sick, seen them experience mental illness and seen them ask for help (reluctantly ask for help, but ask for help nonetheless). I don’t want men out there to feel as though they need to fight on alone. Be an army, not a lone ranger!

I want you to think of this: When babies are born everyone in the room waits to hear that first cry. That first cry says “I’m alive.” When you cry as a child it means “I’m hurt,” “I need help,” “I need attention,” “I’m sad” —  you can still cry as an adult male. A strong man will tell us when he’s hurt, needs attention, feels sad and needs help. It’s OK to let someone else support you every once in a while. You can be a tag team fighter rather than stand in the ring alone against a army.

One of the bravest and most courageous things I’ve seen a very important man to me do was soldier on through mental illness brought on by experiences no one should ever experience. This gave me hope, too. If someone so strong can fight a fight that hard, then I could too. If that big, strong man can cry, then this little girl can cry. If that amazing man can fight like that, then he truly is a hero.

If this isn’t enough to show you how amazing you are, and convince you it’s OK to show emotions, then I will end on this — and yes, I am going for the sex sells approach. If the one crying happens to be my man, my husband, although it breaks my heart to see it… it’s bloody sexy, too!

Much love,
Becky xx

Follow this journey on Not Just Depressed.

Originally published: March 12, 2016
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