Dear Suicidal Self, From Your Well Self
Dear Suicidal Self,
You’ve been down this rugged path before. You’ve been gripped by the darkness, buried in your own tears and rendered helpless in days gone by. But today you have a friend in me, Your Well Self. You don’t have to face this alone. I am here to remind you not every day will be this way. You must put your faith in me and keep on fighting.
You have pulled yourself out of this situation a number of times. Self, you can do it again. This need not be the beginning of the end. Allow there to be hope for us, and for our future together. It’s your only sensible option.
Please Self, give us a fighting chance. This hurt and pain will eventually subside. This sadness may be chemical, or circumstantial, but don’t let it rob us of our future together. Self, if you have the strength for one thing, call the doctor. If you can’t do that, call a friend.
There are people out there who want to help you. You must believe it and embrace the fact during this difficult time. Think of the times before you didn’t let these intrusive feelings win. Muster up that strength again, Self. Because your life depends on it. Your loved ones depend on it.
You are not alone in this fight and battle for survival. People around you will help you put one foot in front of the other in the days to come. Self, you have dreams. Don’t let them dissipate into nothing. You want to be happy again, so take a chance on that.
Take a chance on your loved ones, that they will support you in this. Take a chance on your future. Allow your hopes, dreams and ambitions to resurface. They can still come to fruition. Self, this is all still possible if you just head my advice. Phone a trusted confidant, and let them in on your situation. You don’t have to face this alone. You are never alone.
Sure it’s clichéd, but Self, seeking help is the first step towards a recovery journey. Take a sensible option and reach out. You’ve done this before and you can do it again. You’ve got this Self. We’ve got this together. I’m here for you. I’ve got your back.
Self, never, ever allow it to be your loved ones who are missing that someone special at their birthday or Christmas table. You wouldn’t wish that loss on anyone, would you? Don’t let your mind play tricks or games on you, pretending your absence would go unnoticed. It’s the furthest thing from the truth and Self, you know it deep down.
I know you just want the hurt to end Self, but suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems. Can you imagine Self, right now, the news of the loss of a loved one? The reality of not seeing them again would be crushing. It would jolt you at the core. Don’t let that scenario play out for your loved ones. And don’t you dare let it play out for yourself.
Conserve that energy that’s occupying your mind on a way out, and save that thought space for recovery. You might hate me right now Self, for not allowing what you deem to be an “easy way out.” But trust me when I say, one day you will thank me for being with you through this, and speaking truth through my voice of reason.
One day soon Self, you will thank me for reminding you life is worth it. Your loved ones are worth it. You are worth it. Thank you Self, for remembering me and believing in me enough to read these words again. Hopefully you will not need them in the future. But if you ever happen to do so, they will be right here, waiting, to gently remind you that you are not alone. Never alone.
Together we can still fulfill our dreams, but only if you trust me when I say there is so much more to live for. Sending all my love and strength to you My Suicidal Self. I’ll be waiting for you. I am hear waiting for you now, and on the other side of this.
Your Well Self.
If you or someone you know needs help, see our suicide prevention resources.
If you need support right now, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.
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Naomi Fryers is a mental health advocate. She is also a freelance writer, blogger who has written for a number of celebrated Australian and U.S publications including The Huffington Post. She was also an editor at the illustrious U.S and social justice based publication The Good Men Project.
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