To My Friend in 8th Grade Who Gave My Suicide Note to the School Counselor

Do you remember us in eighth grade? We had ridiculous crushes on boys, got into stupid fights with other girls and went to football games because it was the cool thing to do. We spent our time in class passing notes and trying not to get caught. One day, I found you in the hallway and gave you a note that was much, much different than the others.

I had written it the night before with tears in my eyes and incredibly shaky hands. I’d wanted to write it for quite awhile, but never thought I actually would. But things had gotten really bad for me at home and at school. And you knew that already because I always confided in you. But even though you knew what was going on in my life, you didn’t know what was going on inside my head.

At the beginning of my note, I made sure to thank you for always being there for me and to thank you for being my friend. But what started as a thank-you note turned into a suicide note. I know you were as scared when you read it as I was when I wrote it. I handed it to you in the hallway, planning for that to be the last time I saw you. But what you did next changed the outcome I was then hoping for.

After reading it, you did the thing that ultimately saved me. You took the note and your worried heart to the school counselor and told him how scared you were for me. He listened intently to you and then acted the way he was obligated to do. He called my parents and then summoned me to his office.

I was angry with you at first. I felt like you had broken my trust and betrayed our bond, but as I grew up, and as we grew apart, I realized you saved me. You saved me and did it because you loved and cared for me. I will always appreciate what you did.

And I wanted to thank you now for caring enough to save me then. You were a true friend, and I’m glad it was you that I told.

If you or someone you know needs help, see our suicide prevention resources.

If you need support right now, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

The Mighty is asking the following: What is a part of your or a loved one’s disease, disability or mental illness that no one is aware of? Why is it time to start talking about it? Check out our Submit a Story page for more about our submission guidelines.

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