themighty logo

The Anxiety Summer Brings


Summer is the time of year when children run around outside, scream, laugh and eventually get so exhausted they crash. For many summer is a wonderful time. For me, it is painful.

My body is not as skinny as it once was. I experienced severe body dysmorphia and most symptoms of an eating disorder. I restricted my calorie intake and exercised caution around food. I had a skinny body. I thought I was healthy. In actuality, I was a bag of bones hurling towards death. I found my way into a hospital and improved tremendously.

Unfortunately, summer is one of those times when I cannot escape bad feelings, harsh thoughts and poor body image. My scars show when I wear shorts. My stomach, no longer flat, hangs down as a “muffin top” over said shorts. Two piece swimsuits scare me. The sound of children screaming at the pool throw me back to tortuous times. Summer should be a break from school, and from the anxiety that comes with school. In truth, for me, it is a long nightmare.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. As I learn to accept myself for who I am, I can learn to love myself. With this love will come confidence. The fear and pain will fade. I’m sure it can for everyone else, as well.


Find this story helpful? Share it with someone you care about.