Suicide Will Not Be My Family's Legacy
Growing up, even as a small child, I always had a sense of sadness. I never understood why I felt this way. When I was 15, my father took his life. It changed me. It deepened the sadness and added hurt.
After my father’s death, I learned he had been hospitalized for mental illness. It was hushed away until it was too late. After my father’s suicide, his older brother took his life too. Then, two cousins died by suicide. It seemed like it was never going to end.
I had also tried many times, wanting to end the pain. It was not until my youngest grandsons’ grandma took her life too that I knew I must make this legacy end. He has had five blood members choose death over living. I would be the sixth. I could not let this innocent child have this kind of legacy. No matter how bad it gets, no matter how much I want to leave, I can’t. He deserves better.
He needs to see courage and strength can win. He needs to see my story is not over because I love him. I will not let suicide be his legacy. Life will be.
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If you or someone you know needs help, visit our suicide prevention resources page.
If you need support right now, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. You can reach the Crisis Text Line by texting “START” to 741-741.
My name is Anita Obrecht. I suffer from major depressive disorder, PTSD and suicidal ideology. I have suffered through four family suicides, including my father’s. I am also a cancer survivor, I was diagnose in 2014 with a GIST tumor. Which is a rare genetic cancer, I was blessed they found it in the early stages. I truly believe the saying, “What does not kill you makes you stronger,” from German philosopher, Friedrich Nietzsche. Even at my lowest times, I hold on for my family. I don’t want them to feel the pain I do over loss by suicide. Life’s journey is still a struggle; however, I see hope in my grandkids’ eyes. Through my struggle, I also found art and let me say that art saves lives. This is just part of my story and how I am living with mental illness. “You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice.” ― Bob Marley
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