A Letter to Myself the Day I Was Admitted to the Psychiatric Hospital


Hey you, I know you’re in there. I can see past that blank stare, through that brick wall you’ve built around yourself to the scared person inside. I can feel the emotions you are so desperately trying to block out. I can hear your silent screams for help, for relief and for any way out the suffocating darkness called depression. I know your pain. You are not alone. I have been there. I can help.

I know you are terrified right now and suicide seems like the answer. You just want to end the pain and spare your loved ones the burden of you and your depression. I am here to tell you to hang on. Hang on one more minute. Hang on one more hour. Hang on one more day. Hang on. There is help coming. Hang on just a little bit longer.

This hospital may seem scary, but the staff here will help you. They will keep you safe. They will keep you alive. They will teach you new tools, and soon enough, they will give you hope again. The other patients will show you that you are not alone. Their stories will make you realize others out there know and truly understand your pain. In time, you will even come to call some of them “friend.

You will come out of the hospital a changed person. You will be able to see the light of the sun again. You will know while there is still darkness and depression in your life, there can be joy and laughter, too. Not every day will be easy or good, but you will have the strength to keep fighting. You will become the bravest person I know.

You have already survived the hardest part. You found the courage to ask for help. You are doing it. You are here. I can tell you it gets better because I am you. We made it. We are still hanging on. We are still here. We are still alive.

Image via Thinkstock.

If you or someone you know needs help, visit our suicide prevention resources page.

If you need support right now, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. You can reach the Crisis Text Line by texting “START” to 741-741.


Find this story helpful? Share it with someone you care about.


Related to Suicide

woman's hands

A Letter to My Mother, Who Saved Me From Myself

Mom, I tried to do it on my own. I really did. I went to my therapy. I took my meds, and I crashed and burned. The day my therapist called, told you I could no longer live on my own and you needed to help me, you jumped into action. You moved me home. [...]
paper heart

Letters for My Suicidal Selves

Dear 8-year-old me, You are so young, so little. You are confused, so confused, about everything in your strange and scary world. You don’t actually know the seriousness of what you keep thinking about and trying. I don’t know what else to say to you, but if I could, I would hold you. I would [...]
woman leaning against a railing outside

I Used to Say 'Suicide Is Selfish.' Now, I Know Better.

“Suicide is selfish.” A phrase – no longer than three words – that I’ve heard countless times. Too many times to count, really. It’s used carelessly, by those who either don’t know better. “Suicide is selfish.” Three words I’ve uttered myself, albeit a very long time ago. Before I knew better. Before I understood what [...]
drawing of a woman

Why Suicide Prevention Month Is Difficult as a Suicide Attempt Survivor

I feel I must begin by stating I am not currently suicidal. But, the constant bombardment of suicide chatter all month threatens to push me over the edge. Please don’t get me wrong — I find it wonderful the powers that be on social media have chosen a month to focus on suicide awareness. There [...]