The 'No Big Deal' Acts of Kindness That Helped Me After My Soulmate's Suicide


As I have published in recent blogs, I am entering another phase in my life (after the suicide of my soulmate Steve in 2015 and my Parkinson’s disease diagnosis eight months later. As such, I am trying to find a new balance in more ways than one. What prompted me to write today is to express gratitude, something I need to do more often.

My heart was filled with thanks today — so much so, it brought tears to my eyes. This was precipitated by my experiences  that occurred over the past week or so. The common theme with these occurrences is they are all random acts of kindness by some people whom I consider to be very close friends. It is these good deeds that make me realize how lucky I am to have these people in my life. Having them to lean on gives me great comfort in facing some of the obstacles I encounter — obstacles, that in the past, I would have relied on Steve to be there for me through.

Last week, my friend Mike and his wife Ramona attended a Project 9 Line benefit dinner with me. I knew it was going to be an emotional night for me, and Mike and Ramona stood by my side and supported me through my tears. Mike is also a constant figure at my house after every snow storm, shoveling my driveway. I was not alone at the dinner, nor am I ever alone after a snow storm.

My cousin Terry and her husband Allan who live more than an hour away from me drove over 150 miles one day to get me some vegan ice cream and bring me some homemade soup. Since I am on a strict plant-based diet, I have lost a lot of weight. As such, Terry wants to make sure I put on a few pounds to reach a healthier weight. I am not alone.

This week, my friend Judy went with me to my future home to help me choose paint, carpet and tile colors. I have been in such a daze lately, I was pretty much useless in making my choices. However, Judy is so good at asking questions and taking notes, I knew I didn’t have to worry about remembering what I decided, plus I was lucky to have her expert opinion on color selections.  I was not alone.

Yesterday, my rabbit chewed through my computer power cord, rendering the PC useless when the battery wore down. Since I am so dependent on my computer and I knew it would take days for me to get a new power adapter, I reached out to my friend Bob, a former co-worker of mine from IBM. He offered to strip and tape the chewed cable to make it functional again. Once again, I was not alone.

I am so grateful for having these people in my life. They may consider their help to be no big deal. However, what they all have done for me is huge. As I have said many times before, I will always be lonely without Steve, but I will never be alone

If you or someone you know needs help, visit our suicide prevention resources page.

If you need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, the Trevor Project at 1-866-488-7386 or text “START” to 741-741.

Follow this journey on Slipped Away Blog.

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Thinkstock photo by efetova


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