Please Don't Tell Me How to 'Cure' My Health

Please don’t tell me how to “cure” myself.

Before bombarding me with possible cures, please ask me if I want to hear about them.

Over the years I’ve tried pretty much every available, safe, possible treatments and many alternative options. It is very demeaning, tiring and frustrating to continually have well-meaning people tell me I should try this herb or that diet, or this alternative medicine – telling me they looked it up, and are sure it will cure me or make me significantly better. Or, even worse, is when it, “Cured a friend of a friend.”

I can guarantee to you, that between myself, my family and my doctors, I have either tried it, read about it, or have reasons as to why I can’t try it. I know far more about the intricacies of my medical issues than others in my life do, and it hurts to have it implied that I’m not doing all I can to help myself. Of course I am. Sometimes, though, there is no magic cure.

When others think something as simple as a herbal tea, or coconut oil, could be the answer to all of my problems, it simplifies my health in an insulting way. It makes me feel like I’m not being heard. Natural remedies can actually be dangerous, depending on the person, the remedy and the other medical issues involved. What may significantly improve one person could be extremely disastrous for another. They may share a common illness, but they do not share the same body. No two people are the same. Having to justify why you can’t or won’t try a certain treatment is stressful and upsetting.

So please, the next time you want to offer some suggestions to someone, things that you think might benefit their medical condition, first just ask them. Ask if they are looking for any treatment ideas. Don’t assume they will gladly welcome this. They might. They might not be aware of what’s out there. They might be at a point in their illness where they are looking to find anything that might help. But don’t just assume they will be grateful and please don’t get upset with them if they aren’t.

The best way to help is to listen. Be supportive. Be a friend. Be silly. Have fun. It’s so wonderful to have people who care and want to help. Communicating with them will help you know exactly how you can truly help.

We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here.

Thinkstock Image By: dragana991


Find this story helpful? Share it with someone you care about.

Related to Chronic Illness

Woman cutting vegetables for meal.

When My Chronic Illness Affects My Diet

Once upon a time, I was a girl who loved food. It was one of my greatest passions. I loved to eat and try new things. There was a little problem, though. Things I ate tended to make me sick. I would get sick after so many different meals that it was difficult to pin [...]
Redhead girl on a Barcelona sand beach

'Out of Sight, Out of Mind' Syndrome: How I'm Rekindling Friendships Lost to Illness

There is an old adage that goes, “Out of sight, out of mind.” In our hustle-and-bustle society, this phrase is truer than ever. Whether you’ve just been diagnosed or are an old hand at battling chronic illness, there is something we all have in common: loss of friends. Many of us get very upset and [...]
silhouette of woman sitting outside under starry night sky

To Anyone Feeling Ashamed of the Accommodations They Need for Their Illness

I think the first step after being diagnosed with ___ (chronic illness goes here) is you have to change your lifestyle to adapt to your needs. The changes will not always come at once but sometimes they do, and if this is your situation, stop and breathe. Yes, it is overwhelming, but there are so [...]
Black and white image of a little girl hugging her mother

From One Mom of a Chronically Ill Child to Another

Dear mother of a chronically ill child, First of all, let me tell you how sorry I am for both you and your child. The journey ahead is not easy. I know. I am in the trenches right next to you. When my daughter was 21, two years ago, she had a serious adverse reaction [...]