Please Don't Tell Me How to 'Cure' My Health
Please don’t tell me how to “cure” myself.
Before bombarding me with possible cures, please ask me if I want to hear about them.
Over the years I’ve tried pretty much every available, safe, possible treatments and many alternative options. It is very demeaning, tiring and frustrating to continually have well-meaning people tell me I should try this herb or that diet, or this alternative medicine – telling me they looked it up, and are sure it will cure me or make me significantly better. Or, even worse, is when it, “Cured a friend of a friend.”
I can guarantee to you, that between myself, my family and my doctors, I have either tried it, read about it, or have reasons as to why I can’t try it. I know far more about the intricacies of my medical issues than others in my life do, and it hurts to have it implied that I’m not doing all I can to help myself. Of course I am. Sometimes, though, there is no magic cure.
When others think something as simple as a herbal tea, or coconut oil, could be the answer to all of my problems, it simplifies my health in an insulting way. It makes me feel like I’m not being heard. Natural remedies can actually be dangerous, depending on the person, the remedy and the other medical issues involved. What may significantly improve one person could be extremely disastrous for another. They may share a common illness, but they do not share the same body. No two people are the same. Having to justify why you can’t or won’t try a certain treatment is stressful and upsetting.
So please, the next time you want to offer some suggestions to someone, things that you think might benefit their medical condition, first just ask them. Ask if they are looking for any treatment ideas. Don’t assume they will gladly welcome this. They might. They might not be aware of what’s out there. They might be at a point in their illness where they are looking to find anything that might help. But don’t just assume they will be grateful and please don’t get upset with them if they aren’t.
The best way to help is to listen. Be supportive. Be a friend. Be silly. Have fun. It’s so wonderful to have people who care and want to help. Communicating with them will help you know exactly how you can truly help.
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Lisa Prins is a binge hobbiest who is constantly throwing herself into many different projects. When she is not well enough to do one, she will find another. Music is her main love. She is a classically trained pianist, vocalist, songwriter, composer and ukulele player. She also enjoys writing, drawing, painting, crocheting, pixel bead art, photography, jewelry making, sewing, playing video games, robot building, and a number of other hobbies. Love, compassion, friendship and understanding are most important to her. They are what gives meaning to her life. Lisa was born with a congenital kidney disease called renal tubular acidosis. This combined with asthma, chronic infections, idiopathic angioedema and anaphylaxis have shaped her into a person who is thrilled to experience every bit of life and love, every sunset and every little joy that life has to offer. She lives with her incredible partner, who is, and has been, her love, her best friend, and, at times, her caregiver. She decided to start contributing her writing in the hopes she can help others know they aren’t alone, and help those who aren’t chronically ill better understand the people around them who are.
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