My Worries About How My Illnesses Will Affect My Son

I am a mother to a wonderful, sweet little boy. He is an active 8-year-old who loves to do the typical things…play outside, ride his bike, read books, play video games and run. But since we live so close to Disney, he loves to go there too. What kid (or adult) wouldn’t, right?

Well, because I battle a slew of chronic illnesses, it is difficult at times to go out and do the things he loves to do and it makes me feel guilty. And I know I am not alone. Sometimes when I send off my kid to school, I lay in bed the rest of the day because I can’t handle the fibromyalgia flare-up. There are days when my scoliosis pain is so out of control, I need my son’s help. He will bring me water, ice packs or whatever it is that I need to reduce the severity of my pain.

When we can go to Disney, we can walk around but we need to take a lot of breaks and take many precautions because of my migraines and seizures due to my brain disease. Obviously, I am not able to get on the “cool” rides, so he has to miss out on those. My husband works long hours so he rarely can hang out with us at the parks. When I do go, I sometimes end up at the first aid station to get some ice or more assistance.

Whenever I am laying in bed in the dark with ice on my head, he comes in the room to check on me constantly. He brings me things without asking, draws me little get well notes, and kisses my forehead and tells me to get better. He knows that on days like this, we will not be doing anything or going anywhere so he doesn’t bother asking.

But when I am “well enough” I try my hardest to be strong enough to do something that he likes. As a mother you always want the best and want to see your child happy. You want to care for your child and see them grow and always be healthy. It shouldn’t be the other way around. I don’t want him growing up and worrying about me and my health.

While I can’t control how and when my scoliosis, my fibromyalgia or my brain disease will attack, I always try my best to make him smile. I know I am a good mother to him and I love him with every ounce I got, but sometimes I can’t help but feel that my chronic illnesses get in the way and affect not only me but him as well.

We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here.

Thinkstock photo via SHSPhotography.

Find this story helpful? Share it with someone you care about.

Related to Fibromyalgia

woman loading a washing machine

Trying to Do Laundry With Fibro Fog

“How bad can fibro fog be?” This is a question I have been asked more times than I can count. This is what trying to do one chore with fibromyalgia is like when you have fibro fog: Yesterday was laundry day – a simple enough chore, for most! I hate doing laundry…so I do marathon laundry [...]
father kissing daughter on her forehead

Talking to My Kids About My Fibromyalgia Diagnosis

It was a two-and-a-half-year odyssey from the beginning of my chronic pain to my fibromyalgia diagnosis coupled with being newly predisposed for soft tissue injuries. This leaves me more easily injured and then in a lot of pain from those injuries; all of this clarified what I’m living with. Then, it was another six months [...]
old picture of a dad throwing his daughter in the air while swimming in a lake

Why Getting a Diagnosis Still Didn't Give Me an Answer

As as of July 2016, I was a relatively normal 23-year-old girl. I was looking forward to returning to school to continue working on my undergraduate degree the next month. I lived with my boyfriend and my best friend (my cat). I drank on the weekends with friends, enjoying the last moments of summer vacation [...]
Two people holding up happy and sad faces.

How Chronic Illness Has Affected My Positivity

Before being diagnosed with fibromyalgia, I was a very positive person. I always had a “nobody can stop me” attitude. I would always find the good in everything, even when I would have cramps and pain from having endometriosis. I still would search for something positive to keep going. It wasn’t until I was diagnosed [...]