What to Know About Loving Me Regarding My Depression

It’s not impossible to love me.

I cannot lie – it will not be easy, but no relationship is.

Relationships are hard, and this one may be the hardest of them all.

However, it could be wonderful. I have so much love to give.

It will be hard, but not impossible. Not if I commit. Commit to continuing my treatment. Commit to looking after myself. Commit to trying make myself happy. Commit myself to you. To us.

It’ll be hard, but not impossible. Not if I understand. Understand that seeing me low will upset you. Understand you’ll be hurt when I push you away. Understand your fear and frustration and feelings of helplessness are valid. Understand that, when I’m OK, you’ll need me to tell what to do next time I fall ill.

If I commit and understand, then you can love me.

Stand by me.

Be patient with me.

Love me.

But I must commit and I must understand. I must.

And… I did not.

I did not commit or understand. My love now lies deep inside me. Unspent. Wasted. I can have no complaints.

Loving me is not impossible. I just made it so.

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Thinkstock photo via OcusFocus

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