Why Thanksgiving is So Hard for Me and My Eating Disorder Recovery

You would think Thanksgiving is so hard because I’m trying to recover from an eating disorder and this holiday is all about food.

You would think Thanksgiving is so hard because big portions are acceptable (and highly encouraged) and I’m scared of them.

You would think Thanksgiving is so hard because I have to be more flexible with when and what I eat.

You would think Thanksgiving is so hard because I’m surrounded by family members who might not understand.

And yes, those are true! But there’s more to it than that.

It’s the constant remarks of what I ate that day. Or the constant remarks of what others didn’t eat that day to prepare themselves for dinner.

It’s people pointing out the portions on my plate, telling me, “That’s a lot of food for someone so tiny!”

It’s the questioning of why we need to eat around a certain timeframe.

It’s watching everyone enjoy themselves as you analyze every single bite of food you put into your body.

It’s the comments of others saying they feel full and disgusting after the meal as you sit there trying to be OK with what you just ate.

The anxiety for me doesn’t entirely come from the nature of the holiday itself. It comes from the lack of consideration and remarks from those around me.

Thanksgiving is so hard because when I need support and encouragement the most, I’m left to internalize comments people don’t realize they are making.

Thanksgiving is hard, just like recovery. Be thankful, but please remember to be aware of what is said at the table.

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Getty Images photo by aggressor