Why I Wouldn't Wish to Be Free of My Fibromyalgia for a Day
What if you could have one full day without fibro?
Would you say “yes please” or “no thanks?”
If you’ve ever seen a social media post that asks you to choose whether you’d rather live fibro-free for 24 hours or have a million pounds land on your doorstep (all totally legal, of course), then you, like me, might have actually thought about the pros and cons of this type of scenario, just because.
OK, so first of all I made the million pounds part up because I forgot the other, more interesting options that are usually on these posts, but you get the idea. They’re all good things and the idea is to compare them and decide how the thought of no pain for a day compares to something like marrying the celebrity man or woman of your dreams. (FYI – no contest because I already did marry the man of my dreams. And I would definitely write that even if he did not read all of my stories)!
Now, anyone with fibromyalgia or any other chronic pain condition will tell you that it’s brutal. It’s relentless and cruel and we’ve probably all wished it would go away even if that could only be for now. The moment when it all feels too much and we’re sure we can’t cope with it anymore. The moment when it stops us from doing something we really want to do. The moment when it seems there’s nothing but pain.
The first time I saw one of these posts online, I thought “no contest” and “a pain-free day, obviously.” After all, who among us wouldn’t give anything for that? Well, after thinking it over… me! That’s right, I have decided I would pass on the offer of no fibro for a day.
Yes, it would be lovely to wake up in the morning and feel refreshed after having a great sleep. It would be amazing to not have to take a bunch of meds and do a bunch of (very gentle) wriggles and stretches just to make it out of bed. It would be awesome to be able to go for a whole day out with loved ones, or to the gym, or for a long walk on a sunny day. I’m sure you know what I’m saying. Also, the payback. How wonderful it would be to do anything at all with your day and not have to spend the next three stuck in bed or on the sofa in the agony that’s inevitable following every time you have fun at the park with your little ones, or try to do something normal like go for a night out or go shopping? It would be pretty freakin’ wonderful, wouldn’t it? I hate the payback. That’s probably the part that would sway me if anything. Imagine not losing three days just because you actually lived for one. Or would the payback just still exist anyway because it’s only the initial 24-hour reprieve that we’re granted?! Hmmm, who knows?
Moving on… (before I change my mind and take the imaginary “no pain” wish from the fibro genie). My decision to say a hypothetical “no thanks” to the idea of a hypothetical fibro-free day was easy once I gave it some thought. The reason I’d pass is because it would come back. The day itself would be a reminder of all the things I can’t do anymore, and then I’d have to deal with the physical shock of the pain returning. It’s not worth it to me. I’d much rather stay as I am, accept my chronic illness and concentrate on the things I can do now. I may not be the same person I was before my fibro got this bad, but I actually like who I am now.
Yes, the chronic pain and fatigue is bad, but it’s given me strength and compassion greater than I could have known otherwise. Also, I’ve met lots of fibro and chronic illness friends I’d never have known. I’m lucky to have a fantastic support system around me, and I think I’m sometimes even helpful to them in my own ways. Lastly, I would not be here, reading your inspirational Mighty stories and sharing my own experiences.
So, thanks anyway, but I’ll pass on the million pounds, celebrity lifestyle and fancy new car. Yes, I have a chronic illness, but I’m also, perhaps surprisingly, very happy.
Thanks for reading and sending love to all.
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Getty Image by Anna Ismagilova