What I Wish People Knew About Med Compliance

I’m going to let you guys in on a little secret… med compliance is not black or white, do or not do, “just take it and you’ll feel better.”

The feeling isn’t a “pick me up” nor can it make you “happy.”

I cannot stress this enough — there is a hell of a lot of work involved. You don’t get a “partner” to shoulder the muck. You can have people who are a constant presence, a regular visitor (licensed or trained). Only if you’re lucky, you’re around  friends and family who have a whole-hearted desire for your happiness and well-being.

But the shit storm is still inside you, only you, and not wanting to go through whatever you buried, denied or violently fight against is not a clinical word on perfectly white paper titled, “Noncompliant.” It’s a herculean, constantly fought and exhaustive effort. There is no winning.

I want the help, I want the strength, I want the comfort that is out there, but I don’t want to be ready enough to meet what’s inside. It isn’t real for anyone else, anywhere, ever. It’s a litany of tumultuous feelings, sounds, sights, creatures, visions, darkness, pain.

So please, don’t say or ask anyone why they just don’t take their meds and feel better, as if it’s as simple as that. Please don’t say, “You must not want to feel better.” The work and the battles are silent to you. The pain and scars may be seen, but you’ve never visited my world. You can’t. Literally everything we decide is a juxtaposition. It’s our life and rarely are choices made. The goal isn’t for ignorance to become bliss. Survival includes rest and sometimes hiding and being silent and still. Bravery can be prepared for, waited for. Everyone has a right to turn the doorknob slowly into the fearsome things, the waiting is a more peaceful moment to experience.

And everything in life is only for right now.

We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here.