#MightyPoets

I write

I write the words that evoke the fantasy untamed

A world glowing in autumn, shimmering in the rain

I want you to know the depth of what I feel

But when I am not writing, I am not even real

And you will never return even a splinter of my esteem

Could you love me?, a childish fantasy.

I'm a mild child, come and love me

But I'm too polite to ask.

My heart spurned and exiled

Emotionally crippled, fading to black

I'm a mild child, come and hold me

As I fall apart, fading fast

My heart burned and broken

How many eons can this last?

Tell me

Tell me I am a nice guy, but we should just be friends

And I see you out on the town, laughing with other men

Your laughter, so musical, cuts me to the bone

You share it with everyone but the nice guy

Slogging through life alone

I'm a mild child, come and love me

But I'm smeared into the background

All hope dead and gone

Because I have no story of my own

I'm a mild child, come and touch me

My outline, fading, your fingers touching dust

Why couldn't I have been real for you?

If I had been real, could I have seen me, too?

This is a riff on the song "Wild Child" by W.A.S.P.

#Depression #Suicide #PTSD #Trauma #MentalHealth #Disability #MightyPoets

I could list my

Greatest strengths on a wall so

Plastered with my failures

That nothing else could be written.

I had only two sides

Failure and weakness

Only two dimensions

Peeling off the bricks.

A sunbeam blasted me out of my skin

And seared my shadow on the spaces

Between the surfaces I vandalized

When I existed,

My life an awkward graffiti.

I achieved ugly because beauty

Was beyond me.

My life falls off the bricks like scabs

From the half healed burns of my spirit

Photographed, numb and frozen forever

The traces, mute and weathered

Of failure upon failure upon failure

Until I had to slough off so much

Of myself to stop hurting

That two dimensions would hold me.

My portrait

Not oil on canvas

But a still life etched in rejection

Fading into a non bearing wall

If it fell it would not matter

If I had lived it would not matter.

Because living reduces us to a point

The nail that held the portraits of the worthy

Or the pinprick I will occupy

When I shed the rest of me

My pain will die in silence

When I am too weak to feel

Anything anymore.

#Depression #Suicide #Trauma #PTSD #MentalHealth #Disability #MightyPoets

I could list my

Greatest strengths on a wall so

Plastered with my failures

That nothing else could be written.

I had only two sides

Failure and weakness

Only two dimensions

Peeling off the bricks.

A sunbeam blasted me out of my skin

And seared my shadow on the spaces

Between the surfaces I vandalized

When I existed,

My life an awkward graffiti.

I achieved ugly because beauty

Was beyond me.

My life falls off the bricks like scabs

From the half healed burns of my spirit

Photographed, numb and frozen forever

The traces, mute and weathered

Of failure upon failure upon failure

Until I had to slough off so much

Of myself to stop hurting

That two dimensions would hold me.

My portrait

Not oil on canvas

But a still life etched in rejection

Fading into a non bearing wall

If it fell it would not matter

If I had lived it would not matter.

Because living reduces us to a point

The nail that held the portraits of the worthy

Or the pinprick I will occupy

When I shed the rest of me

My pain will die in silence

When I am too weak to feel

Anything anymore.

#Depression #Trauma #PTSD #Suicide #MentalHealth #Disability #MightyPoets

I could list my

Greatest strengths on a wall so

Plastered with my failures

That nothing else could be written.

I had only two sides

Failure and weakness

Only two dimensions

Peeling off the bricks.

A sunbeam blasted me out of my skin

And seared my shadow on the spaces

Between the surfaces I vandalized

When I existed,

My life an awkward graffiti.

I achieved ugly because beauty

Was beyond me.

My life falls off the bricks like scabs

From the half healed burns of my spirit

Photographed, numb and frozen forever

The traces, mute and weathered

Of failure upon failure upon failure

Until I had to slough off so much

Of myself to stop hurting

That two dimensions would hold me.

My portrait

Not oil on canvas

But a still life etched in rejection

Fading into a non bearing wall

If it fell it would not matter

If I had lived it would not matter.

Because living reduces us to a point

The nail that held the portraits of the worthy

Or the pinprick I will occupy

When I shed the rest of me

My pain will die in silence

When I am too weak to feel

Anything anymore.

#Depression #Suicide #Trauma #PTSD #MentalHealth #Disability #MightyPoets

I'm afraid

Feeling sad on any given day…

I'm okay

I'll be fine

Just give me time.

To erase feelings I sit with

Thoughts stuck in place.

I can't explain this thirst

What comes first?

Emotion or cognition…

Sit through your feelings,

and the pain

I feel shame.

#MentalHealth #Depression #MightyPoets

I feel anxious

Heart beating loud in my chest

Or is that the rest

Of that rap song I’m listening to?

I’m stopped at a traffic light

pause to try and catch my breath.

Ease the tightness in my chest…

The unrest in my body

Is almost too much

I might implode.

#Anxiety #MentalHealth #MightyPoets