Schizoaffective Disorder

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Panic or paranoia?

I've had intrusive thoughts, paranoia, and anxiety since I found out last week that I have a call with corporate to go over my newsletter at work. My newsletter is how corporate gauges how well I'm doing my job. It includes a calendar of all the events I have planned for the month. As the activities coordinator, it's my job to make sure my residents have an adequate number of different events to choose from. They want to help me make it better. I know this. Yet, I find myself fixating on getting fired. I'm coming up with all the reasons they would let me go. Management says I have nothing to worry about as long as I do everything corporate tells me to do. This does nothing to quell my internal dialogue. Management said "humble yourself, don't make excuses and don't argue" but I find in my head that's all it plans to do. It's a self defense mechanism and it is a bad one to have. I am fully aware this isn't a big deal but I can't stop my mind from saying, "This is it. Your days are numbered". It doesn't help that the last 2 people in my position were fired for the exact same thing. At 6 months and 8 months. I am coming up on 6 months in this position. I don't know what to do to stop my mind from trying to look for a new job. I love this one. But I'm scared. Yes I am taking my meds. I'm starting to think it might be time to go up a dose. It's worked great right up until this incident triggered something in me.

#SchizoaffectiveDisorder #Anxiety #MentalHealth #Trauma

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What do you wish others knew about being passively suicidal?

Most people don’t know that there are two types of suicidal thoughts: passive and active. When you’re passively suicidal, you think about dying — sometimes it’s even a daily thought pattern — or what it would be like to not be here anymore, but you don’t have a plan or intent to follow through.

Talking and speaking up about suicidal thoughts can be scary and intimidating, especially when there’s such stigma around suicide in general. Much of the discourse surrounding suicide is very black and white, all or nothing thinking; and for those of us who fall in the gray area, we might have a hard time even putting into words where we fall on the spectrum. How do you explain the nuances and complexities of suicidality when there is so much more that needs to be understood?

📖 P.S. If you need some stories to read from people who get it, check out our "Coping With Chronic Suicidal Thoughts" collection here: #Suicide

#BipolarDepression #BipolarDisorder #PTSD #Schizophrenia #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Anxiety #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #Depression #MentalHealth #CheckInWithMe

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Take your medicine

The number of people who don't believe in taking medicine... 🫠 I get it, sorta. You do you.
The number of people who don't believe in taking medicine for their mental health though, completely numbs my mind. Like. How do you expect to feel better when you have a CHEMICAL IMBALANCE IN YOUR BRAIN? You can not "just get over it", "just ignore it", "just avoid it". You literally have something wrong with your chemistry. Medicine is NOT the ONLY answer. Therapy, lifestyle changes, etc...it's a whole package deal.
Coming from someone who has struggled with mental health since 13(my father dieing triggered depression...) and wasn't medicated til 17...and wasn't PROPERLY medicated til about 6 years ago, let me tell you what an absolute difference it makes on your life. I'm still a dumpster fire with a long way to go but I was a raging 2 acre landfill fire before.
It is not shameful to take a pill or 5 every day. It is not shameful to see a therapist. It is a chemical imbalance. Something is actually wrong with you. Like any other chronic illness. You got fibromyalgia? High blood pressure? Kidney disease? Erectile dysfunction? You take meds for those. It's no different.
The one med you tried didn't work? Guess what? It's a game. You have to try different ones because until they come up with an affordable, widely available blood test that tells you exactly what you should take, you won't know what works for you til you experiment like a junkie. Asking your friends is also useless. Their chemistry is not your chemistry. Their issues may seem similar but how your brain processes them is not.
The most frustrating thing about mental illness is that it takes time and effort to get to a point where YOU are happy with where you are with how you feel. But you have to be your own advocate. You have to build your own team. That takes time. That takes effort. That takes spoons you may not have, but I promise you, it's worth it to not feel like you want to unalive yourself every day or like the world is out to get you.
#fightthestigma #MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #MightyTogether #BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression #SchizoaffectiveDisorder

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Medication isn’t working #MentalHealth #CheckInWithMe #SchizoaffectiveDisorder

I was diagnosed with schizoaffective in 2021, and I take invega but that doesn’t seem to be enough. I already tried seroquel and that did nothing and haldol doesn’t seem to be helping either. I’d love to hear your input and which antipsychotics have worked for you :)

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What does Paranoid Personality Disorder Feel Like?

When you have PPD, you have trouble getting along with others and significant difficulty maintaining close relationships. Your inappropriate and excessive hostility and suspicious attitude may manifest in recurrent arguments, hostile indifference, or social detachment.

Since you're always on the lookout for potential threats, you will behave in a secretive way that could appear devious. Others may begin to see you as cold and unfeeling. You have a deep need for self-sufficiency and feel you must exert a high level of control over others. Your combative and suspicious attitude will likely eventually cause others to respond with hostility to you as well. This only serves to reinforce your imagined suspicions and distrust.

Paranoid personality disorder causes sufferers to exhibit an enduring pattern of inner thoughts, feelings, and external behaviors that fall well outside societal norms. #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #PTSD #ParanoidPersonalityDisorder #ADHD #Autism #AspergersSyndrome #BipolarDisorder #EatingDisorders #Schizophrenia #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #AnorexiaNervosa #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

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