To the Person Who Hates Themselves Today


You woke up today and for whatever reason, feel low. You don’t feel right in your own body. You don’t feel right in your own mind. You don’t feel right at all, and most of all, you don’t really like yourself right now.

Maybe outside stress is making it worse, but ultimately, you feel, the problem is just you. Your very existence feels heavy and wrong, and it seems like nothing you do makes it better. It doesn’t matter what’s going on that day. It doesn’t matter that nothing particularly hard is happening. There’s a steady hum of self-hate pulsing through your veins, and despite evidence that says otherwise, you can’t shake the feeling that you’re a failure. Worthless. Awful. 

If this is you today, we feel this. We get this. You’re not alone, and you’re going to be OK.

To collect some messages you might need to hear right now, we asked people in our community to share one thing they would tell someone who’s struggling with self-hate today. Their words might not make everything better, but I hope they at least give you some comfort. I hope they at least convince you that you can get through this day. Even if you don’t love yourself right now, you are worthy of love — and we’re so glad you’re here.

Here’s what our community wants you to know:

  1. “Just because you feel weird doesn’t mean you are weird… This took me a while to learn, but is so needed when you feel like you’re unlikeable or acting odd. Just because you feel something about yourself doesn’t make it a legitimate aspect of yourself, and it doesn’t mean you have to change any of your natural behaviors to compensate for it. It’s still just a feeling.” — Maycie A.
  2. “Feelings aren’t always based on truth. Sometimes, what you’re feeling is a response to depression or anxiety telling you things that are not true. Wait until you are more calm… then make your decisions.” — Cathy W.
  3. “It’s OK to not like yourself sometimes, that doesn’t mean you’re not worth of respect and love.” — Romina A.
  4. “You can’t trust your own mind sometimes because we’re sooo good at convincing ourselves that we’re worthless. Reach out to a loved one and ask them to tell you what they see in you that you can’t right now. It’s a long journey to self-love and self-acceptance, but it is so possible.” — Shelley A.
  5. “Something that has helped me greatly with my own self-love is deciding to be my own best friend instead of a bully because I’m gonna be the only person to go through my entire life with me, no one else.” — OhLivia S.
  6. “You may not like yourself right now but that’s OK. I like you as you are and you don’t need to change.” — Lilly J.
  7. “You are so much more worth than you think, you are not alone in this, I will be here if you need me. Stay strong!” — Kim W. 
  8. “Its OK to not like things about yourself at times, but the bravest thing you can do is love yourself… All we can do is try to be at peace with our life and be better than who we were yesterday. Love and strengthen yourself mentally, physically and emotionally by being in positive environment and you can then love others and yourself.” — Ross C.
  9. “If someone you love tells you something powerful and positive about you, believe them. Absorb those words, tuck them away, recall them in a moment you really need to hear them and speak them back to yourself in your own voice as truth. Because it is.” — Ariana B. 
  10. “Many people feel just as you do. I’m not saying that as in, ‘It’s no big deal.’ What I’m trying to tell you is many others struggle with the same feelings and I want you to realize you’re not alone in your struggle. There are people you can talk to about your feelings and they’ll help you learn ways for you to love yourself just the way you are. No two people look the same, walk the same, talk the same. We each think and learn at different paces. So you be you and I’ll be me.” — Cathy P.
  11. “I know you may not see your own value, but so many people do. You bring a smile to my face, and make my days better. If you could see yourself thru my eyes, you would see someone beloved and wanted and needed.” — Melody A.
  12. “Acknowledge the things you see in the darkness of your reflection. Those things are part of you. They are part of what makes you who you are. But even those things can’t take away from all that make your soul shine bright.” — Justina P.
  13. “You are brave, strong and capable. Don’t let your head tell you anything different. A loved one had to remind me of this today.” — Kimberly T.
  14. “Remember that you are filled with purpose and worth. It might not feel like it, but you’re beautiful and important. Keep your head up and keep going.” — Nina R.
  15. “Breathe. This moment will pass. Always does. Go gentle with yourself.” — Marina B.
  16. “You don’t have to believe it right now, but you are worthy of self-love.” — Lea B.
  17. “Maybe you’ve done something that lead you to feeling like you don’t like yourself. Or maybe it’s something that creeps up on you for seemingly no reason. No matter what the cause, it’s not easy to not like yourself. It automatically makes you believe no one else does either. I wish I had more advice for this. My suggestion is, on a good day, write out all of the qualities you like about yourself. Even silly little things that don’t seem significant. If you’re brave enough, ask others close to you what they like about you. Then when you’re feeling bad about yourself, look at the list. Now brb, I gotta go follow my own advice.” — Lisa M.

If you’re struggling to show yourself love today, we hope you find some inspiration from the self-care lists below. Even doing something small for yourself is a victory — and you deserve it, no matter what your mind says.

Photo by Wang Xi on Unsplash


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