4 Lies Bipolar Depression Tells You About Recovery
A journey through recovery from bipolar disorder depression is like surfing on the ocean. There are waves and seasons in life. Sometimes, the waves seem higher than you can manage. Sometimes there are no waves and you are just wading in the water. You have to learn how to surf and manage those waves. When you are in the midst of a wave that seems like a juggernaut, your depression starts talking… and talking loudly. It tells you that you are unlovable, a screw-up, worthless and more. Your reality becomes a distorted perspective of reality.
Here are some lies my depression tells me when I am surfing a large wave that seems to have no end.
1. You won’t make it through this time.
Depression is something I have struggled with since at least sixth grade, maybe even earlier. It is all I can remember. Each time I have gone through a depressive episode, I have made it through it. It seems like, when it comes back, it comes back stronger than ever. My depression tells me I can’t make it through it this time.
2. It is only a matter of time.
Depression tells me I am living on borrowed time. It is only a matter of time before I cave in and take my life. If this celebrity who has been struggling with it can’t make it through, then how can I expect myself to overcome this depression?
3. You’ve got all the help you can.
Since junior year of high school, I have been getting therapy and counseling to manage my depression. In college, I started taking medication for my depression. After I graduated from my undergraduate program, I checked myself into a psychiatric hospital because of suicidal thoughts. Up to this point, I have gotten all the help I can get. Nothing anybody tells me now is going to change anything.
4. You are permanently messed up.
This lie plays into the other lies. You are permanently messed up. This depression will keep coming back and get worse over time. You cannot make it through it because you are permanently messed up. It will always come back so it is only a matter of time before it wins. You have tried fighting back by getting help, but it continues to come back. You will never beat it. You may assuage it temporarily, but it will always come back.
The truth is, this episode too shall pass. These thoughts in your head are from the enemy, your depression. There are some things you need to be reminded of and maybe some new things for you to learn regarding how to cope with your depression. Be transparent about your struggles with your friends and family and go seek professional help. You are not permanently messed up. Your depression may not go away, but you can learn to manage it so that you can authentically enjoy life and love yourself. Those lies in your head will become quieter as you learn to ignore them over time.
Follow this journey on the author’s blog.
Photo by Aziz Acharki on Unsplash