Your soul may feel empty, your heart may feel broken, you may feel an insurmountable pain consume your body. You might wonder if the throbbing, searing ache spreading throughout you will ever subside.
You may feel desolate, isolated, hopeless, as though your future is bleak. The sensation you’ve valiantly fought off may creep into your mind without warning, remaining by your side like a close friend, caressing you like a passionate lover. It might deceive its way into robbing you of everything you hold dear, convincing you that it’s your time to leave this world forever.
But today, you are supposed to be alive.
The voice in your head masquerading as a friend, persuading you to leave behind everyone and everything you love, is nothing but a twisted trickster, a masochistic master of deception. It may slither into your soul, snuffing out your resilience, your desire to keep living. It knows no tomorrow, no gleaming hope for the future, no joy in the midst of sorrow. It has never gotten lost in a song, danced through the streets, felt the warm embrace of loved ones, or relished the savory aroma of a warm plate of food. The voice of your pain is intimately familiar with death, and it disregards the simple pleasures of living in favor of a life lost. It might tell you that there should be no more sunrises, no more carefree kisses, no more music enrapturing your soul.
But today, you are supposed to be alive.
You may believe that your pain will drag on, leaving you too weary to live. You may wonder why you continue to let your seemingly hackneyed life drone on, even as you believe that it is slowly killing you. You may fear that you will be trapped in a permanent state of disillusionment, a dystopia in which “better” does not exist. You may have convinced yourself that your hours are numbered, that today will be end of everything that hurts you.
But today, you are supposed to be alive.
You may have woken up in pain this morning, but you are breathing with a purpose, even as you feel your heart sink and your mind cloud over. You are here today because you are meant to continue writing your story; to fully immerse yourself in the challenges and victories of this life. You awoke to discover more: more tender hugs, more sweet music, more nights you’ll remember forever, more loving moments with family and friends, more life.
Don’t rid yourself of the opportunity to live the life you are meant for. Summon the glimmering desire to keep living through the pain; to open yourself to the potential of re-experiencing joy, love and fulfillment. You may not understand why you awoke in such tremendous emotional pain, and you may not yet see a route to a happier life, but one thing’s for certain: Today, you are supposed to be alive.
This story originally appeared on Thought Catalog.
Photo by Sabrina May via Unsplash