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When Depression Hosts a Party Every Night in Your Mind


As the clock strikes 12, I hear the doorbell ring. It’s Insomnia. She is a regular visitor, and she brought a plus one to the party. It’s her best friend, Anxiety. She looks very familiar. “Welcome,” I say with a half-hearted smile.

Then my co-host of the party walks in. Guys, meet depression. She is a party animal. She loves hosting these late night parties. She’s like my best friend. Never leaves my side. Although sometimes I really wish she did.

”Hey, you!” Depression calls out to me. As I mentioned, she doesn’t like to lose sight of me. She is a little possessive, to say the least. ”Come here, I would like you to meet some people.” I get up, sigh and walk towards her. I notice her standing with Insomnia and Anxiety. “Meet Anxiety, oh, and you know Insomnia, she’s a regular!” Depression says with that evil smile on her face. Gosh! I hate it when it comes on. I know something big is coming my way.

She then turns to Anxiety and says, ”You know why I invited you, so, go on. Make sure this one doesn’t fall asleep. She tries really hard but I manage not to let her. Don’t disappoint me.” Anxiety nods her head in approval.

“Come with me my love, let’s talk,” says Anxiety. She talks and talks like she knows me and with every word I get reminded of all the mistakes I’ve made, things I have been trying hard to erase. Now, I am bawling with everything replaying in my head. Episodes I badly want to forget, overthinking and curled up in the corner while Anxiety still continues to talk.

It’s 5:30 a.m. now and Depression comes by, sees me and says, “Job well done, Anxiety. Thank you. See you tomorrow. Same time, same place.”

The party is over now. As the guests walk out the door, the sun is out, I can hear the birds chirping, people around looking fresh and hustling. ”Looks like a bright sunny day! Too bad you’re too tired to enjoy it, darling. You partied way too hard,” Depression smirks. I look at her, my eyes swollen and body and mind drained out of energy. ”Yes, I know the routine,” I say as I walk towards the shelf of happy face masks, pick out one and wear it.

”Good, you’re all masked up. Go ahead, get on with your day. Come back soon, don’t be late for our party!” And the cycle continues…

Can you relate? Let Kruthika know in the comments below.

Getty image via greenaperture