Hello everyone! I hope everyone of you are well and taking good care of yourself ❤️Been ages since I last wrote and asking for advice.
Life been hard for me, but I’m keeping it going as I need to. I lost my 2 fur kids in less than a span of a year apart. Bleeding inside, but wearing a mask and telling everyone i am fine.
Started a new job a month ago. Feel quite alright, but cant help having the jitters of my employer will know about my mental health. Trying to look and get myself all well and yeah, i can do the job. As I need the moo-lahs to pay my bills.
Reaching out to you guys as I been having some stupid thoughts after my psychiatrist told me this a few sessions back - “ I am very worried about you. Do you know that you are a very nice person? Whom everyone like to be with you? You are very sweet and always think for others. I really like you.”
My reply was - “wait till you have a fight with me”
His reply was - “ i hope i never ever will get into a fight with you forever”
I got to admit, I have a thing for him. I always hope of being together with him one day after being discharged or I ever ever have the courage to change to another psychiatrist.
My husband doesn’t know about this. But he knows i trust him and listens to him always.
I dont have any feelings for my husband- not because of my psychiatrist. My husband suffers from erectile dysfunction. We dont get initmate for quite a few years. He doesn’t want to seek treatment and he pretend that everything is fine.
He does not contribute to the household nor any chores. All he does is just sleep and eat after he comes home. Leaving everything to me. He neglects his appearance and it really turns me off. Even when he kiss me goodbye. I will feel so disgusted.
I don’t know whether I am normal. I kept wanting to end this marriage. But I got to hold on as I got to save more moo-lahs in order for everything to rent a home.
What should i do? I am so afraid that I might sleep with other guys.
My husband doesnt even bother to buy me any gifts during special occasions. We dont even hang out during weekends. He dont even notice when I get my hair done or anything.
He is just like taking me for granted.
He is more than 15 years older than me.
#MajorDepressiveDisorder #Anxiety #Migraine #PTSD #ChronicFatigue