What Revealing My Bipolar Diagnosis Taught Me About Social Media
I have a very personal blog, almost like an open journal, that has helped me work through some of my hardest life challenges in a constructive, public way. I have become quite proud of it over the years, and was excited to share this personal page on my social media. I have been feeling a little “up,” as I call hypomania, over the last couple of weeks because life feels like it’s going in fast motion. When I’m a little hypomanic, I tend to be more vulnerable.
While feeling a little bold and invincible (which tends to happen a lot when you’re manic), I shared a very vulnerable post that I have bipolar disorder on my general Instagram account. I have a “mania account” where I post about my blog and everything related to my mental illness, but I have never posted on my main account that I have bipolar. I wanted to share my blog with everyone I know, because I have become quite proud of it… so I shared this very vulnerable post.
After the post, I had doubts about whether or not I should have posted my deepest struggle with the world. Are people going to judge me? Are people going to look at me differently? What if I made a mistake? Sometimes, those who are interested in mental health will come and want to read a mental health blog… but sometimes people are just nosy and want to read about your life without actually caring about what you are going through.
I find myself putting my heart on my sleeve and sometimes trying too hard to make everyone understand how I am struggling. The truth is, I shouldn’t care what people think about me. I have bipolar and if anyone doesn’t understand or wants to judge me for my mental illness, then that’s their own insecurities.
I hate how social media can make you feel empowered one minute, and then naked the next. If people want to be nosey, go for it! If people want to judge me? Have at ‘er. I am proud of who I am and I am proud of who I have become. Having bipolar has shaped me into the woman I am today, and I wouldn’t change that for the world.
Photo by Timothy Dykes on Unsplash