Mania

Honestly I feel like giving up on God and just keep going to the mental hospital constantly. I hate the way God made me. I have really bad mental health issues and probably don’t even have the brightest future ahead unless if I have a lucky star. I spent most of my years in and out of mental hospitals. I barely lived life and sometimes I don’t care if I die because I am not living a life I want and I feel miserable #MentalHealth #Anxiety #ADHD #AnorexiaNervosa #Bipolar2 #Bipolar1 #BipolarDepression #BipolarDisorder #CheckInWithMe #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #Schizophrenia #Psychosis #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #PTSD #Trauma #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #Selfharm #Autism #Addiction #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Manic #Grief #Diabetes #DiabetesType1 #DiabetesType2 #MajorDepressiveDisorder #EatingDisorders

Honestly I feel like giving up on God and just keep going to the mental hospital constantly. I hate the way God made me. I have really bad mental health issues and probably don’t even have the brightest future ahead unless if I have a lucky star. I spent most of my years in and out of mental hospitals. I barely lived life and sometimes I don’t care if I die because I am not living a life I want and I feel miserable #MentalHealth #Anxiety #ADHD #AnorexiaNervosa #Bipolar2 #Bipolar1 #BipolarDepression #BipolarDisorder #CheckInWithMe #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #Schizophrenia #Psychosis #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #PTSD #Trauma #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #Selfharm #Autism #Addiction #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Manic #Grief #Diabetes #DiabetesType1 #DiabetesType2 #MajorDepressiveDisorder #EatingDisorders

My parents don’t understand what I am going through. I have been in and out of mental hospitals and they make it seem like what I am going through isn’t as serious as it actually is; it is extremely serious and should not be taken lightly. I have been in a mental hospital more than 10 times. My older sister, I don’t get along with her and she told my mom to lock me up in a mental hospital. One of my aunts told me I have nothing to be depressed over because I don’t pay any bills. People don’t understand how much I have been through. Bullying, people being rude to me. I have been rejected and called ugly my whole life. One of my cousins even told me I crave attention. Very rude and disrespectful. Also my cousins say I am not their age and yet they talk to people my age. I don’t want them in my life but I do know I deserve so much better than them all

#Depression #MentalHealth #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Anxiety #Bipolar2 #BipolarDepression #BipolarDisorder #Schizophrenia #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #PanicAttacks #PanicDisorder #ADHD #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #Trauma #PTSD #PostTraumaticStressDisorder #PanicAttack #SuicidalThoughts #Suicide #Bipolar1 #Selfharm #DepressiveDisorders #CheckInWithMe #Mania #MightyTogether #SocialAnxiety #SchizophreniaSpectrumPsychoticDisorders #EatingDisorders #AnorexiaNervosa #EatingDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Autism #Grief #AutismSpectrumDisorder #ChronicIllness #Disability #LearningDisabilities

Hi,

I've struggled for as far back as I can remember with my mental health. I know where it stems from, I know the traumatic event that set the dominos tumbling. But I've always "raw dogged" life. No doctors help, no medications besides self-medicating of course. Just me & my crumbling thoughts against, well me.

Until recently, my thoughts and the darkness in my mind became so bad this time I couldn't find a way out. I have been so lost. I have seizures, and I had a spell of them really bad for a couple months and my husband strongly suggested I try to seek medical advice. So, I did. Now, I've always had this thing with my hands feet and neck that I do and certain sounds that I make, that I've always chalked it up to anxiety because they do show themselves a million times worse when I am in a manic or anxious state. Once my mental health started declining rapidly, my weird "quirky" habits became unbearable, and loud, and uncontrollable. When I start seeing doctors and specialist for my seizures, all these diagnoses started flowing in, I was diagnosed with ADHD, OCD, PTSD, Bipolar Depression & Tourette syndrome. I am literally a walking dumpster fire. I cannot medicate one without setting off the other, my doctors have a hard time even trying to find medicines that'll help me in all aspects I struggle with. They almost act as if they are afraid to treat me. I feel good to know that there are underlying reasons for my mental state, and it does help to know that it is not all in my head. But now i feel almost worse in some respects because I feel like a lost cause. I just feel so lost, just with a diagnosis now. I'm not sure that I am even looking for advice, I just need a safe space to vent. Someone if anyone to hear me while I'm vulnerable.

How am I supposed to learn or realize I’m making mistakes, if I’m never told what the mistake actually was? Being told I’m not trying, I’m not changing, I’m not aware, it’s not fast enough…causes me to panic and the thoughts that what I was doing right, were wrong this whole time. Working past and through bad habits, mindsets, etc…. Is a journey, not an over night miracle. I’m so discouraged that the effort I’ve been putting in was reduced to basically nothing. That the steps forward, we’re just wiped away. I’ve been honest about the anxiety when I realize that’s what’s happening. And although sometimes it’s taken me longer to realize it, I am still trying. I get so frustrated with myself when I realize too late that I’ve been reacting from an anxiety mindset….when I should have caught it sooner. I get so frustrated with myself when I am in the midst of anxiety and can’t calm myself down (even with the coping techniques). Im so frustrated when it takes me days to realize im manic. When I realize I’ve been doing things from a place of mania and didn’t stop it. The effort never stopped, yes, sometimes I will fall back into old habits or old mindsets. In those times all i need is a gentle reminder that those no longer serve me, especially when I don’t realize that is what’s happening. Im doing a lot of self work and no it’s not always outwardly apparent, but it’s still happening, slow and steady. Undoing years of trauma responses and anxiety lies is not the quick process I want it to be. And I haven’t given up.

But right now, I feel defeated. I feel unseen. I feel like a waste of space.

#Anxiety #traumaresponse #Bipolar #PanicDisorder

So, I was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I’m new with bipolar, and trying to learn as much as I can about it. Anyone else have it? #BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression #ManicBipolar

So, I was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I’m new with bipolar, and trying to learn as much as I can about it. Anyone else have it? #BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression #ManicBipolar

Anyone else deal with DAILY irritability and anger? I literally WAKE UP irritated and it just snow balls from there. Doesn't seem to be associated with a manic episode, I am sleeping/eating /functioning just fine, no other mania symptoms.

I get annoyed and irritated for tiny reasons and then can get really angry if it is overwhelming.

Wondering if there is a med change or increase I may need

Anyone else deal with DAILY irritability and anger? I literally WAKE UP irritated and it just snow balls from there. Doesn't seem to be associated with a manic episode, I am sleeping/eating /functioning just fine, no other mania symptoms.

I get annoyed and irritated for tiny reasons and then can get really angry if it is overwhelming.

Wondering if there is a med change or increase I may need...###BipolarDisorder