What time of day do you prefer your tea?
What time of day do you prefer your tea?
When your mood changes, does your hunger change too?
I’m new here!
Hi, my name is Bekah. I'm here because I am terrified that my hypomania will lead to a psychotic manic episode and I will be inpatient. I haven’t been hospitalized in 4 years. I work part time as a psych RN and have one semester left to become a Psychiatric Nurse Prsctitioner. I have not been able to reach my psychiatrist to help adjust my meds and my husband and I are so desperate to get me stable we both decided it would be smart to lower my Zoloft since I am manic. I am in clinicals and my preceptor knows I struggle with bipolar. I asked her advice on what she would change with my medications because I was struggling with mania. She told me to lower the Zoloft and said that she will never start a bipolar patient on an antidepressant because it can make their symptoms much worse. I literally interview patients everyday to do med management on their psych meds and I, ironically, can’t even get an appointment with my doctor. i don’t want to burned my husband and friends and family with my crisis and have had a therapy session. just need a place to let it out and hope that I won’t feel so alone and terrified. I’m supposed to be the nurse caring for mental health patients in crisis and I’m hanging on by a thread to maintain my own sanity. words of encouragement, advice, recommendations, ideas ANYTHING. I’m desperate.
I'm new here!
Hi, my name is Heidy. I'm here because I struggle with daily depression, trying to manage with meds, exercise, some social. I've heard about people being in episodes, but in my case, it is a daily, more or less, nothing predictable as to how much depression/intensity, versus, normal mood. Hypomania does not play much of a role, maybe 6 times over a 26 yr. period and even so, not terribly symtomatic, causing trouble, just freedom from depression.
Hi! I am new to this site. I am struggling with self motivation to basically function as a human being. I have been dealing with high functioning depression and anxiety for a long time and I am now in my late twenties.
I was diagnosed Bipolar II, ADHD and OCD more recently, maybe even a couple of years ago. It is hard to take care of myself and do basic daily living activities. I've struggled with those things since I was very young and I lack self discipline since I grew up with parents who gave me porous boundaries...
On top of that, I have a somewhat "nocturnal" sleep schedule where I stay up into the wee hours of the night and then wake up in the afternoon. This worked okay when I worked swing shift at my last job but I still struggled a lot to feel "okay" or motivated. I am a night owl but I feel better when I can get to sleep earlier (for me that could even mean midnight) and wake up earlier (before 2 PM lol). It's hard when my meds make me groggy though but I am so reliant on them to knock me out since I've had nighttime anxiety since I was less than 10 years of age.
I have been "self-medicating" for a long time and chasing dopamine highs. My dopamine bucket (as my old psychiatrist called it) is deeper than most people's I guess so I am constantly chasing highs from everything I do so moderation is hard but again I'm very lucky and fortunate that I've had the sense not to dabble with any super hard drugs. Anything that I've felt super addicted to I stopped right away, mainly pills, so I have some will power in that regard. Chasing highs all day and night is kind of exhausting though and I learned that saying "addictive personality" is incorrect but I absolutely know I'm more genetically inclined to have addictive tendencies. I used to use OTC meds to sleep and feel okay and to help me sleep such as Benadryl and NyQuill and to help me relax. I have cut back on OTC since being on psychiatric meds especially because OTC gives me nightmares and RLS but I still worry about long term side effects of the meds I'm on too... I am so grateful I've never gotten into any seriously hard drugs but for self-medicating I do lean on caffeine (using the internet pretty much all day every day for multiple purposes) and have been dabbling with pot again on and off for the last decade (currently I'm off pot but I want to use it again so I'm starting with CBD) Alcoholism runs in my family, I feel like every time I drink alcohol it's like building up pressure in a volcano that will someday erupt, aka alcoholism will take its grip on me and won't let go until I have to go to rehab or get alcohol poisoning. Alcohol generally scares me but I have been drinking on and off again this year (I started drinking when I was 14) so I've been kinda testing the waters after not drinking for over 2 years straight and each time I drank I wanted more and it was just so strong.... That's another post I could make sometime but yeah I am currently not drinking so I'm less worried about using alcohol, I'd much rather get stoned from thc... I am on psychiatric meds for bipolar disorder but my anxiety and depression feel out of whack.
I lack consistency, I can work out if I'm feeling more hypomanic and when I'm not I definitely am a couch potato so that's the majority of the time, my diet and exercise need to be improved but when you are in a depression rut it's so hard to do anything at all!!! I'm fighting with myself, part of me wants to have a consistent and healthy routine. Another part of me likes being how I am now but I'm not happy and I don't feel good a lot of the time.
I just moved to a new state as well so I won't be able to see a Psychiatrist for possibly a month and that is freaking me out. I might run out of my current meds (depakote and seroquel to be exact) so I'm needing to figure that out. I'm meeting with a new therapist today and I'm going to talk to her about what I'm writing in this post. I'm sure she can help with some stuff and I haven't been put on an anti-depressant because my old psychiatrist was super cautious and I never seem to be in a balanced mood so she didn't want to risk hypomania. But I cycle on and off with hypomania every week it feels like. Being hypomanic increases my desire to get high and makes me feel out of control with impulsive spending and random creativity.
I have a lot of goals I want to accomplish creativity wise but being so inconsistent with severe ADHD symptoms and other problems (including being a perfectionist) really stops me from completing projects and following through with my goals.
To give some more perspective also, I grew up as a spoiled only child and I've always gotten everything I've ever wanted/needed without having to work hard for those things really. I'm fighting against the "conformist lifestyle" of like having a structured schedule and just doing what most people do which is to work full time and adhere to a routine/schedule and live in moderation. I think I feel more "free" when I can at least feel like I am living against the grain of society even though I know this is just an illusion. Telling myself I'm not "normal" has probably been one of the worst things ever and I hate that concept of normal anyways. But to feel like I don't fit in anywhere is a really lonely and sad feeling and it's totally not true!
I'm working on healing and moving forward and growing as a person. I'm my biggest obstacle though and I want to be my own best friend. But my old habits are so ingrained in me and I feel they are a huge handicap for me to be healthy, happy and successful. I'm also pretty codependent so this makes my relationships with most people unhealthy. I've come to the realization that I find a man or friend to focus on their problems instead of my own and I want to fix them, hence my codependency.## I got into a situation earlier this year with someone and it's take me 7 months to have multiple realizations. That's another post that I'll probably make though. So anyways I'm sensitive and an empath too so life is super overwhelming always no matter what. I'm proud of what I've accomplished though like getting a Bachelor's degree and I've reached out for help which has helped give me hope. I don't feel totally hopeless but I want to know what kind of career/job/lifestyle I can have to support myself financially and to give me more contentment. I want to give myself validation first and foremost but this is SO hard when I've always relied on other people so much for everything, especially my parents.
Anyways, I just wanted to see if anyone else can relate to my situation or parts of it at all, some support and feedback would be very appreciated, thank you!
Newly Diagnosed #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder Question..
I have read a lot about #CPTSD , and I see how it fits me. But is hypomania a symptom? Yesterday I felt my mood elevated. I've experienced hypomania before, but it's been YEARS ago. I have the diagnosis of #Bipolar Not otherwise specified and OCD and the newly added #CPTSD . The euphoria didn't last long..
Just all day yesterday until a toxic person said some pretty shitty things to me. Then my mood plummeted and I was triggered and felt unsafe and was in fight or flight mode. But the euphoria felt just like when I was hypomanic years ago. Can someone with #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder explain? It would help me greatly. Are there any good books out there that explain and have help..
Maybe a workbook?
Is it just me, or do you get “grumpy” when the ‘boring self-care’ actually helps?
How I decided to stop working shift work for my mental health
Building insight can take years, but once you get a grasp of your #MentalHealth and truly understand the different factors in life that disrupt your state of mind you can truly find a sense of control.
I have had #BipolarDisorder since I was 13. For years and years I did not have any insight at all. I would just go #Mania all the time, wait for the medications to kick in, stabilize and then carry on with my day.
Ever since becoming a registered nurse I have learned that there are sooo many preventative measures that can help you stay stable. For one, recognizing when your body and mind are under stress and recognizing the triggers that can cause you to lose your balance.
For me, it’s the unexpected stress and things that come out of nowhere that cause me the most trouble. For example, shift work is very hard on your body and mind, and I have been doing it for 7 years. I would go #Mania once or twice a year since I was a young girl, and I just thought that was my baseline.
Until recently, I had a horrendous night shift that caused such severe #Mania that I was hospitalized for a week. I decided that was my last straw.
Fortunately, in Canada they are very accommodating for nurses with health restrictions. My psychiatrist and I decided together that shift work is no longer healthy for me, and that I need to find a day shift only position.The devastating part of this decision was that I had to leave my beloved cardiac unit that I had grown to love. It felt like my home. I felt like I could retire on that unit.
As difficult as it was to leave the unit forever, I know that I have to put my #MentalHealth first above all else.
I am currently off work in sort of a limbo until they can accommodate me with a day shift only position. Fortunately, since I sustained a #MentalHealth injury from that night shift, WorkSafeBC is paying me full time to be off work. So I am very, very fortunate that the Canadian health care system is supporting me and accommodating me into a line that will better suit my #MentalHealth .
I have never worked Monday-Friday in my life, and the thought of it absolutely nauseates me but the more I think about it, the more I realize that it might be the absolute best thing I could do for my #MentalHealth .
Having a set routine, set wake up time, set bedtime, set meal times…all these things might create a stable environment that will contribute to my stability. I know I have to make a change, because I have realized that it is not right for me to have episodes every spring. I mean I might still have episodes, who knows, this is all new territory… but I am hoping that with my insight, excellent medication management, good #Relationships with my provider, and all around expertise when it comes to my health, I am hoping that I can go into remission and remain stable for years at a time.
I know that life will always throw curve balls that will throw me off balance, but it’s the yearly episodes that are taking its toll, and I need to try and find some control.
I am well aware that this large transition might cause #Mania . I already feel hypomanic, as I have found this creativity to write a post for the Mighty. These surges of energy to write and create usually only arise when I’m on the verge of #Mania .
It’s a common trend.
I love to write, and my all time dream is to write a memoir one day. I am hoping that I can find this spark to be creative when I am stable. For now, I am focusing on self care, talking with my support system, drinking lots of fluids, going for walks, meditating and following up with my provider. I am doing my #Mania action plan to prevent full blown #Mania .
I can handle #Hypomania …in fact I welcome it sometimes because it is such a beautiful state of mind. But it comes with lots of #Anxiety with finding debilitating full blown #Mania , so I have to tread carefully.
So here’s to hoping I don’t find #Mania , but still have the small bliss of creativity and happiness that is the one positive of having #BipolarDisorder . Wish me luck with this new journey in my life, and a stable future.