Being stable - Euthymia?
What does Euthymia feel like? I think I am finally finallly coming down from a (hypo)manic episode after like 6 weeks + of being manic. The hyper sexuality has been really bad and I’m finally feeling like I can fucking think straight. I noticed today I’m feeling kind of blunted, anhedonic, I read that can happen with Euthymia. I recall feeling like this many times in my life. I thought I knew what it felt like to be stable but I don’t fucking know anymore.
Is this just like a mania hangover? Lol. Is this Euthymia? Is this as good as it gets? Am I mildly depressed? Feeling a little anxious, dreading going back to work. I fucking hate being bipolar. My coworkers are going to think I’m fucking insane.
How do I explain my complete 180 personality change? I’m typically bubbly and outgoing. But I don’t even know who I am anymore. I guess as I say all of this it does sound a bit like depression. But that’s not great either because that means I’m still cycling from mania to right to depression and will probably go right back to mania.
I love when I’m euphorically manic. I feel on top of the world. I’m outgoing and extroverted. Bubbly and so attractive. Everyone loves me and thinks I’m so funny. I feel so confident. I make everyone happy. I do everything right. I’m productive. I’m a better spouse and mother. I am just a better version of myself but it always fades and it always comes with caveats.
#Bipolar2 #BipolarDepression #BipolarII #BipolarIIDisorder #Mania #Hypomania