Dear Professor: My Learning Differences Empower Me

Dear Former Professor,

This will seem really out-of-the-blue, though I think it’s worth sharing.

When I was a senior at college, you kindly encouraged me to apply to a specific prestigious Ph.D. program (to possibly work with a colleague of yours) and offered to write a strong recommendation letter. Months later, we spoke, and you shared the insight (obtained through the backchannels) that my GRE scores were not competitive enough. I knew my scores were not related to any lack of study, knowledge and hard work, so I didn’t bother to try for better scores. In fact, my average and sometimes sub-par scores aligned with an existing pattern.

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As an incoming freshman, I was fully aware that my SAT/ACT scores sat within the 25th percentile as compared to my classmates, which weighed on my sense of belonging. In middle school, my standardized test scores impeded the opportunity to take a foreign language; I was instead placed in an entry-level reading class with a teacher who was puzzled as to how I ended up there. Even in elementary school, my standardized test scores, out of context, would have prevented me from taking challenging science classes. Luckily, my teacher knew me very well and advised my parents to place me in appropriately competitive science courses anyway.

What nobody knew then, and what I now know, is that I’m ADHD and quite likely autistic. In other words, I have a learning disability. To this day, I struggle with comprehending complex, new, written or spoken language under pressure; I need silence and time. Yet, most who have worked with me, inside and outside of the classroom, consider me valuable in ways that are still difficult for me to fathom.

The funny thing is, now that I understand myself better, I absolutely credit my ADHD and autism for helping me earn my place at a competitive college, for sustaining my perseverance and creativity in completing a Ph.D., and for the perspectives I brought to my postdoctoral and to my current appointment in the advancement of teaching and learning. I don’t learn or work in the same way that many others do; my alternate approach has its challenges and assets. I notice a different set of details, sometimes in greater intensity; perhaps this partially explains the dichotomy of my cognitive load across different environments. It is a relief to finally feel comfortable being myself, and I am grateful to be in a career track where my unconventional style is welcomed.

I wanted to share this with you, first, because you were one of the few impactful educators that made me feel seen. Second, to affirm that your views and actions with your students, staff, and faculty make a difference. This is especially true for a campus leader during this critical time of embracing inclusivity in all of its forms, including disability and mental health social justice. I am confident that when it’s time for my fourth grader to attend higher education, that he will shine in the areas of his passions, just like his mom. And third, as a scientist, I thought you might appreciate another spin on the spectra of complex development. Unique brains bring unique talents to the world. Luckily for the world, the human brain can develop in infinite ways.

Gratefully,

Your Former Student