4 Practical Ways Men Can Manage Their Anxiety

When people say they have anxiety, what does it mean? Well, it usually means they have some ongoing fears or challenges in their life, but ultimately, they are saying they have stress and their body is reacting to it. Something in their lives has temporarily stressed them to the point it is affecting their lives.

Some people mean they have an anxiety disorder. This is what it’s like when that stress comes at you out of the blue, all the time and affects you to the point you may not be able to sleep, you may shit your brains out regularly or, at the worst, you may think you are having a heart attack!

What does it mean when men say they have anxiety? Not many people know because often, guys don’t actually ever tell anyone!

Well, from my experience, many men with anxiety disorders rarely talk about it. Some do. I do.

The first step to combat anxiety in men is to talk about it. Talk about it with your spouse. Talk about it with a friend. Talk about it with a therapist. Talk about it as a natural mental illness that affects an estimated 31.1% of U.S. adults at some point in their life. Talk about it as left over from the evolution of cavemen when they were literally afraid of being killed by mastodons, their neighbors or the water they drank, possibly every minute of every day.

Whatever we do, let’s talk about anxiety in men, because chances are, I think most men won’t. Men have been told for centuries it’s not “normal.” Or, “you worry too much!” Or maybe, “man up!” It’s possible if a man has anxiety, Dad might have had anxiety and Grandpa might have had anxiety. The difference may just be they didn’t know what it was, and they weren’t going to talk to their sons about it. That’s for damn sure, in my opinion!!

Well, I think we know better now. Anxiety in men still doesn’t get talked about enough, but we know it’s not something to be ashamed of, and it’s normal. Let me say that again, it’s normal!

NBA stars talk about it, rock stars talk about it and all those meditation apps aren’t being sold just to women. Dudes have anxiety disorders, and it’s likely more than it gets reported.

Anxiety in men can feel like a lot of different things, but for the most part, it does not feel good. Many guys just want to feel “normal” again. So, how should they deal with their anxiety? Here are four foundational ways men can deal with anxiety.

1. Medication.

Yep, I know. A lot of people don’t want to take meds. They can be expensive without prescription coverage, people may fear becoming dependent on them and it can be a real pain to get them refilled and remember to take them every day. They can be a real bitch, but no more of a bitch than MF’ing anxiety is.

Fact of the matter is, trying to handle anxiety in men without meds is like trying to make juice without a juicer in my experience. Sure, you can get some juice by hand out of grapes or raspberries. Yes, maybe if you’re strong enough you can squeeze the hell out of those oranges or vegetables and get some juice, but your hands are going to hurt and you’re going to end up with less juice than a juicer would have made.

Some guys can manage anxiety without medication, but sometimes managing it without can be really hard, and you may do better with it.

I think men should talk to a doctor or therapist about medication if it’s something they’re comfortable with. There are a lot of different kinds and manufacturers of pharmaceuticals that can help with anxiety. Often, people will get the right one(s) by trial and error of different kinds and doses. Yes, it’s challenging, but when you get it right, it can be life-changing.

There are other holistic things people can take for anxiety as well. Some men try things like CBD oil, essential oils and other herbal remedies, some that are illegal in some states (if you know what I am toke-ing about). Again, you should talk to your doctor about everything you are taking so you don’t mix the wrong things and blow up like one of those weird high school chemistry experiments.

2. Therapy.

I believe therapy works. Some men will say it’s not for them, which may be true. Going to the dentist doesn’t work for some guys either, but their teeth aren’t going to be as good as they could be.

A lot of guys may be worried about being vulnerable in front of a stranger, or that the “quack” won’t understand where they are coming from. However, many men who have gone through therapy will tell you it’s not like that.

Therapists try to understand what you are dealing with, and then try to give you better techniques to manage it. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can be one of a therapist’s game plans for anxiety in men. CBT looks at how people react to things that give them anxious thoughts, examines those thoughts and then works to change the behavior. For some men, it works in a few months to help manage their anxiety, so it’s not always a forever thing.

Therapy doesn’t have to mean going to see a mental health specialist, either. Journal writing, talking with loved ones, meditation or a number of other things can be therapeutic. There are lots of ways that men can get their anxiety off of their chest. The important thing is to do it.

3. Meditation.

Meditation is also something that comes in many different forms. Despite what your Lululemon-wearing sister-in-law may say, there is no “right” way to do it. Meditation can be focusing on one single thing or idea, it can be trying to be present where you are or it can be mantras and breathing. The main benefit of meditation for men dealing with anxiety I’ve found is to just give their brain a break for a little bit.

If you have an anxiety disorder, you may feel your brain is usually moving at the speed of light with fears or emotions you cannot control. Sitting quietly and trying to block those thoughts out for just five minutes, can go a long way toward toning down that thought carnival ride you’re on.

There are a number of ways to get into meditation. You can download an app, or find lots of good free guided meditations on Youtube.

4. Change your perspective.

I believe a positive perspective is key to managing anxiety in men. This is not to say you shouldn’t do the other things to manage your anxiety and just nut up and be positive. Far from it!

Doing the other things you need to do to manage your anxiety will help to form a more positive perspective. If you have an anxiety disorder, you can’t just manage it by looking for rainbows and kittens … or drinking (many have tried and failed).

I believe meds, therapy, meditation and talking with loved ones will all help guys to be more positive in their outlooks and manage their anxiety better. Then, men might start to see things in a less anxious, fearful light. There’s an old saying, “Fear is just a story we tell ourselves.” So, tell yourself a different, more positive story.

It can be hard to ask your buddies what to do about anxiety in men. While they may very well have anxiety, it’s possible they have never done anything about it, or would not acknowledge it. That’s something we need to change.

If you or one of your bros has anxiety, talk about it and do the basic stuff you need to do to deal with it, because a lifetime of fear is no way to live!

You can follow my journey on Anxiety For Dudes.