Ariana Grande Wishes She Could Have 'Taken Away' Mac Miller's Pain
One week after Mac Miller’s death by apparent overdose, ex-girlfriend and singer Ariana Grande posted an emotional tribute to the rapper on Instagram. She wrote:
i adored you from the day i met you when i was nineteen and i always will. i can’t believe you aren’t here anymore. i really can’t wrap my head around it. we talked about this. so many times. i’m so mad, i’m so sad i don’t know what to do. you were my dearest friend. for so long. above anything else. i’m so sorry i couldn’t fix or take your pain away. i really wanted to. the kindest, sweetest soul with demons he never deserved. i hope you’re okay now. rest.
Losing a loved one to addiction or other mental health struggles is always difficult, and it’s natural to feel feelings of guilt or spiral into the “what ifs” of how you could have saved them. After news broke of Miller’s death, many people immediately blamed Grande for not “saving” Miller. As much as support and help from loved ones are vital for recovery, it’s important to remember that as much as we wish we could, you cannot “love” someone out of their struggles with addiction.
i lost my dad and my fiancee to addiction. i begged and pleaded and got down on my knees and prayed and did everything i could. for YEARS. i couldn’t love them out of it because addiction is a disease. remember that when you report about an addict’s loved ones, current or former.
— Tessa Miller (@TessaJeanMiller) September 7, 2018
In her piece, “What No One Tells You about Loving Someone in Recovery From Addiction,” Mighty contributor Ashton Tupper interviewed Nadine, a woman who walked with her husband through 15 plus years of addiction struggles. On the topic of guilt, she said,
First and foremost, do not blame yourself for your loved one’s condition. Guilt can take over your life, so it’s important to remember, ‘I didn’t cause it. I can’t control it. I can’t cure it…’ Ultimately, recovery is a lifelong commitment and it takes time. Being aware, having a support system for yourself and finding your own recovery is just as important as the recovery of your loved one with the addiction.
If this news is hard for you, know you are not alone — and there is help for people who are struggling with addiction. You can call SAMHSA‘s hotline at 1-800-662-4357.
Image via Creative Commons/Brook-Ward
Hi, I'm Juliette. I'm the former Mental Health Editor at The Mighty. I joined The Mighty because I believe storytelling is a powerful tool in raising awareness about mental health and trauma. I'm inspired every day by the brave vulnerability of our community. #MightyTogether
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