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A Little Bit of Everything
Tonight I had to take a moment to focus on what I am going through. I realized I needed to address a little bit of everything. I felt like I was the president of my own country called "Valerie's Mind" and it was a job!
Ever since June 2020, my father has been in either the Hospital or the physical therapy rehabilitation center. It has not been an easy ride. His wife never lived with him, his homeowners association fee is high, and he has had multiple setbacks, including a cluster of cysts in his back for months, mutlple urinary infections, a bladder infection, colon cancer and major surgery to remove it, and now he is back at the Rehabilitation Center.
I have been paying utilities and electric for an empty house, had to throw away food that went bad, took whatever else he had and used it for my home, and I hate it when I come to his house and he isn't there. It's just sad. He is the number one subject of my concerns and the most spoken about in my therapy sessions.
I felt like I am distraught and losing myself, multiple times. I have lost sleep worrying about will he ever be better, or strong enough to come home. Questions such as "Will he ever be able to dress himself, walk around, or use the toilet again?" It's sad! The whole wife situation he has? Oh my Gosh, that's a whole story in itself.
Regardless... I'm concerned.
I felt like I needed to step back emotionally because my Dad had been chosing his absent wife over his own daughter's feelings. It's not ok. My brother has now taken on as Power of Attorney to pay my Father's bills, and I'm unsure exactly what will happen in the coming months. I just really want things to get better...
#AgingParent
#BipolarDisorder
#AnxietyDisorder
#PanicDisorder
#Depression
#MentalHealth
#Insomnia
