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Watching sunrise makes me feel lonelier than ever. In my thoughts, I feel grief has changed me. I like to spend my time alone to just be present with my emotions. I’m tired of people around me telling me to stay strong despite knowing their good intentions. I’m tired of everyone wanting me to be okay. It’s exhausting. Life goes on and that hurts. Why is grieving so lonely? #AnxietyDisorder #PanicDisorder #Grief #MentalHealth

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Ruminating thoughts

I keep having ruminating thoughts about one of several of the women my husband was talking to and "seeing" last yr....I try to put these things out of my head but they come back some days like the biggest, darkest monster and it takes parts of my soul just a little more.... #PTSD #AnxietyDisorder #Trauma

12 reactions 15 comments

Why did I wait???

Why did I wait to give up on relationships?, I should have walked out at the first name, hit, disrespect yet I stayed and it turned me into a monster....time lost, heart broken, part of my soul already to dust... don't think I will ever trust again idk anymore. #BipolarDepression #AnxietyDisorder #ADHD #AuditoryProcessingDisorder #PTSD

10 reactions 6 comments

Finally showered, going to buy food that is already prepared so I actually eat today, hopefully I will have an appetite to eat... hope everyone is feeling safe today and if not I pray for your safety.#ADHD #BipolarDepression #AnxietyDisorder #PTSD #AuditoryProcessingDisorder

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It's a madhouse!

Today I found out that my friend Naomi lost her job at the (forgive me the name is withheld) company that does upholstry for busses and limos. They're a busy business and she's barely there over a month and already terminated. This is because she made only a few mistakes that were not devastating, but fixable clairical errors. I feel so bad that she had that happen to her. She went through a lot today, as I could hear her crying over the phone. I do not know exactly what time it happened, but it seemed to have occured early in the morning upon her arrival to work. She said it was not the best environment to work within and that there were some things that happened there that were not very good.

One time, she was on the phone with someone who called and was saying he was making a complaint about something (as this is the company's corporate headquarters) and the other lady asked who was on the phone to Naomi. Naomi put the client on hold and said to her who it was and then the lady said to Naomi "HANG UP RIGHT NOW," as it was someone who was trying to sue the company for something that they were dissatisfied with. Ugh. Then there was a time a lady manager got pissed off and slammed her hand down on the desk because she heard Naomi answering a question in spanish that was asked to her by the other girl who spoke spanish about a work related task. She said that they are not allowed to speak spanish, and that they were only allowed to speak english. WOW... That was a huge WTF moment.

Lets just say that things are tough all around for a LOT of people out there. My friend Natalie in NJ has also told me that she was hired for a job, and she bought the clothes required and have all the paperwork signed, but was not given a start date, or a call when she is supposed to start. She contacted them, but management said that they would contact her back. Um.. that's just fucking weird. THIS is what companies are doing to people these days. It's insane. Absoloutely insane.

Valerie Climenhaga
Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android Tablet

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It has been a while since I've just been held...and as I lay here tonight and think of the very things I miss the most that would be it... obviously u would have to have some sort of connection with a person and know them for awhile first but the simplicity of being in another's arms or just snuggling together and just a knowing u can trust that person at the end of the day and the intimacy doesn't need to go beyond that is all anyone can ask for ....well atleast in my book.... #ADHD #BipolarDepression #AnxietyDisorder #PTSD #AuditoryProcessingDisorder

9 reactions 4 comments

You ever think your family is just out to push you over the edge???, then u think nah....but actions always have spoken louder than words. #PTSD #BipolarDepression #AnxietyDisorder #ADHD

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The Dueling Mind

I hope you can relate to my PenUp Artwork from my Google tablet. It was a template that I colored to express how I am feeling constantly. It is a struggle to remain stable instead of getting stuck within the "ALL OR NOTHING" mentality. I wonder what on earth 🌎 I can do about it. Medicine 💊 helps, but it is not a cure, but just a treatment. I know many of you can relate to this picture. Surely I cannot be the only one dealing with this. I applied for disability as I keep running into the same issues that I have with every job. I lose myself in the world of depression (reduced energy, emotional mixed struggle) when there is not much to cause it situationally.

#helpme #MentalHealth #bipolarmind #BipolarDisorder #Trying #powerstruggle #Depression #PanicAttack #AnxietyAttack #PanicDisorder #AnxietyDisorder

29 reactions 6 comments

Even though we don't want to be bothered per say by people around us, when approached by a stranger, 1st try to say you don't have time to talk!

See if that works, then if they persist then you can do the necessary to protect yourself, rather its call the authorities etc. Sometimes living with bpd / ptsd can put us a bit over the top or on edge. Meaning we think everyone is out to traumatize us. But that's not always the case we have to sympathize with non mentally ill people as well, and they may just be showing a nice gesture. We've all seen the YouTube videos.. the "Karens" we don't want to have an extra label put on us just because we reacted incorrectly towards another person and we didn't realize they meant no harm to us. So be cautious around strangers but not so cautious that we get ourselves all worked up over nothing. Living with BPD, we lack what you call emotional balance and we fly off the handles very quickly.... So lets practice having a balance.. in our lives as much as possible we no that's almost a no go but practice makes perfect so lets give that a little effort on our part. (The use of the word Karen is just and example not meant for any other purpose)#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #MentalHealth #AnxietyDisorder #Depression #PTSD

6 reactions 4 comments