Last night I learned of another child passing away to Alexander disease, the same rare disease my daughter has. The child was a little younger than Jordyn. He had been admitted to the hospital and tested positive for enterovirus (the common cold) and it turned to pneumonia. Unfortunately, this is how most of our kids pass away. Alexander disease weakens the body’s ability to fight off common infections.
When my daughter was first diagnosed, she ended up having 3 seizures within a 12 hour span which required 2 ambulance calls and 2 ER visits in 12 hours. She had to be flown to St. Louis and was diagnosed with enterovirus. It caused high fevers for her which ultimately caused the seizures. We were fortunate that they didn’t cause any additional harm or time in the hospital, but that was 5 years ago.
A lot has changed with her health and I’m not confident that the outcome would be the same. With every passing year and every child that passes away, I become more and more thankful for the time we have with my daughter. I soak in all the naps and snuggles I can get and am mesmerized by the small things like her soft hands, her long beautiful eyelashes, and her smell. I also become more and more fearful as her health declines.
With every sickness comes added stress as we try to take care of of things at home and avoid a trip to the hospital. It’s a weight that is sometimes too heavy to bear and I know I must give that weight to God.
This morning in church I found myself pleading with God, begging him to save my little girl. I begged him for a cure to this horrible and devastating disease. I prayed that he would give me strength to fight and find a way to save her. I prayed for him to keep his loving hand on my baby girl and to continue to bless us for many more years. I know that only God is in control. He sees the future and only He knows our story from start to finish. I have to trust that God will protect her and give us all strength in the days and years to come.