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To the People Who Think I Don't Still Struggle With My Eating Disorder

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This is a message to anyone who’s known me throughout my journey. Those who saw me in the depths of my anorexia, those who saw me through my first admission of crying over meals and losing weight. This is a message to everyone who thinks I’m “recovered.”

The comments I hear a lot are:

Well, you eat fine now.

You’ve gained back the weight you lost.

You’re not anorexic.

You must be happy now you don’t have an eating disorder anymore.

This is a message to say, please understand my mind is not healed. I still struggle daily with the thoughts of my eating disorder. Just because things on the outside seem fine, doesn’t mean my mind is suddenly “fixed.” 

This is a message to say that just because you don’t notice my strongest behaviors anymore, doesn’t mean I no longer struggle. Eating disorders are secretive illnesses, just because I appear “recovered,” doesn’t mean I am.

This is a message to say please stop putting pressure on those with eating disorders that seem “well” now, we still have very fragile minds. We appreciate your support but please be easy on us. We’ll get there eventually, but right now we’re doing the best we can!

If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, you can call the National Eating Disorders Association Helpline at 1-800-931-2237.

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Thinkstock photo via annuker.

Originally published: September 15, 2017
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