Why I'm Wary About the Release of 'To the Bone' as Someone in Eating Disorder Recovery

Editor’s note: If you live with an eating disorder, the following post could be potentially triggering. You can contact the Crisis Text Line by texting “NEDA” to 741-741.

When I first heard Netflix was bringing out a film focused on anorexia nervosa, I was both dubious and quietly hopeful. Too often, the illness is shied away from or glamorized in such obscene ways it’s little wonder why people still have such poignant misconceptions around eating disorders. Getting the balance between factual and fabricated is delicate, and I believe there have been very few shows that have managed to pull it off succinctly, without excessive glamorization.

I believe Hannah’s story on “Hollyoaks” was one, and while I watched the show in a very dark place, I can now look back and see the exceptional job they did of portraying the raw reality of anorexia and the profound effects on not only the individual, but those around them. In contrast, I believe the depiction of Cassie’s anorexia in “Skins” was both romanticized and trivialized, depicted as an elusive “quirk” and even something to inspire to. Lines from her storyline still haunt me to this day.

I believe finding someone to relate with is a firm factor in anorexia. In the depths of my eating disorder, I found myself searching endlessly for documentaries, continuously watching the same films on YouTube and reading books on people’s experiences, but only focusing on the numbers and hospital admissions. The more I surrounded myself in this warped world, the more “normal” it became to me.

When “13 Reasons Why” aired, it didn’t fill me with much reassurance. I had read the book a few years back, not giving it too much thought, then suddenly the show had gone viral and everyone was talking about Hannah’s suicide. The show did trigger thoughts I believed I had overcome, and while many people would simply say to not watch, turning your back on something doesn’t mean it isn’t out there. The problem is, many may deliberately watch shows like this to trigger thoughts and aid relapse. While this may sound strange to the average person, mental illnesses are not rational and will cling onto any vague hesitancies to grasp control once again.

Hearing that Lily Collins was starring in “To The Bone” made me hopeful that perhaps this show would not be overly romanticized. Having struggled with an eating disorder herself, I assumed the portrayal would be both realistic and raw, while also providing an important education. Yet, hearing the producers asked her to lose weight for the role made my stomach turn. The trailer alone filled me with a sick sense of dread, a feeling I recognized only too well. It’s the exact feeling I had while engulfing myself in the disordered world almost seven years ago. For me, it was almost like watching a car crash, feeling transfixed and unable to look away. I feel drawn to watch despite knowing the triggers, and I’m sure many other people struggling with eating disorders feel the same.

While shedding light on eating disorders is undeniably a positive step in terms of mental health education, I can’t help but see the detrimental effect this film will have on those struggling, or those who have never had an eating disorder. I fear people may aspire to be “quirky” and “misunderstood” like the character Ellen, associating those qualities with having an eating disorder. I fear that the film will induce self-destructive behaviors like excessive exercise and making trivial jokes (like the one already shown in the trailer when a character said Ellen had “calories Asperger’s.”). The fact that the film is listed as comedy already raises alarm bells. There is nothing comical about self-starvation.

I truly hope the film isn’t as glamorized as the trailer suggested to me. I hope it does provide assurance for those in recovery that things can get better. However, my initial impression is somewhat wary and I hope Netflix hasn’t created another “Cassie” in their quest to document mental illness. Recovery isn’t a straight road and there isn’t a “one cure fixes all” prototype. Awareness is important and reducing the stigma around mental health continues to be an ongoing pursuit. I just hope this show is a step in the right direction rather than in the wrong one.

If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, you can call the National Eating Disorders Association Helpline at 1-800-931-2237.

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Screenshot via Netflix YouTube channel.