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Your Anxiety Won’t Ruin Your Relationship With the Right Person

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This piece was written by Holly Riordan, a Thought Catalog contributor

Your anxiety will chase away the wrong person.

When you ask for reassurance that they care about you, they may get annoyed because you should already know how they feel, they shouldn’t have to repeat themselves every five seconds.

When you get quiet for seemingly no reason, when you shut down because your anxiety is eating you alive, they may wonder why you have to turn “everything” into a problem.

When you open up to them about the fears that are keeping you awake at night, they may say you should stop worrying so much about things that mean so little.

When you cancel plans with them at the last second or tell them you’re too tired to leave the house — even though you promised to hang out with their friends that night — they may start an argument with you about how flakey you are.

The wrong person may make you feel like your anxiety makes you difficult to love.

They may make you wonder whether or not you are being selfish. If you should grow up and stop being so afraid. They may make you hate yourself for how hard you find it to socialize. They may bring out your biggest insecurities.

However, when you find the right person, your anxiety won’t ruin your relationship. Your anxiety won’t be a problem that needs solving.

The right person might not know what it feels like to experience anxiety themselves, but they will try their hardest to understand what you are going through. To see the world from your point of view.

When you say you’re not in the mood to leave the house, they will grab a blanket and enjoy the night inside with you instead of complaining about how they wanted to spend the night out.

When you say you are fine, they will ask you what is bothering you instead of acting like your emotions are a nuisance to them.

When you tell them you’re nervous about attending a party or driving on the highway or meeting their parents, they will comfort you. They will give you motivational speeches, reminding you that you have what it takes to make it through. They will never let you forget your strength.

When you are resistant to go somewhere new with them, they won’t push you out of your comfort zone. They won’t force you into doing anything you’re uncomfortable doing, because they want you to feel safe at all times.

Your anxiety is not going to chase the right person away. They will stick by your side, even during your most stressful days. They won’t see your anxiety as a burden, as something they are stuck dealing with.

They will hate your anxiety— but not because calming you down when you freak out is annoying. Because they hate seeing you upset. Because they never want you to feel uncomfortable or insecure. Because they love you and wish they could save you from yourself.

This story was brought to you by Thought Catalog and Quote Catalog.


While everyone experiences some level of anxiety, not everyone has an anxiety disorder. For those with anxiety disorders, anxiety can become so severe and persistent, it interferes with their daily life and functioning. Anxiety disorder symptoms include excessive worry, panic attacks and other physical symptoms including shortness of breath, nausea, headaches and tremors. Join our online anxiety support groups and connect with people who get it.

What It's Like To Have High Functioning Anxiety

Unsplash photo via Joanna Nix

Originally published: May 9, 2018
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