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Why 'No News Is Good News' Doesn't Work for Me

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All my life I’ve heard people say “no news is good news” and until recently I didn’t know why it bothered me. But “no news is good news” doesn’t always ring true. In fact, I am willing to bet it rarely is true. It might be true there is nothing happening, but to my anxious mind “no news” means I can dream up all possible scenarios — none of them good — as to why I haven’t heard something. From calls from the doctor’s office to job interviews to the more common phone calls, emails and texts from friends, I don’t do well with no response.

Now, before I continue I do have to say I apologize to all of you who I haven’t responded to over the past several years. This is thanks to the depression that wreaks havoc on my life. I will try to do better – at least for my friends with diagnosed anxiety.

“You hate me.”

“You don’t want to deal with me anymore.”

“I did something to hurt you.”

“You are avoiding me.”

“Something is terribly wrong in your life and you don’t want to tell me.”

“I am not worthy of your time.”

“You fell off of a cliff or were swallowed by a large animal.”

The list in my mind can go on for hours. And although it would seem to so many people I should reach out again if I don’t hear from you, I am almost scared to find out the truth. Although recently I have actually started to follow through and test my thoughts.

“No news” creates an ugly game in my head. I know I am not the only one who feels this way. And although it might seem ridiculous to those who have the ability to chill or not worry — these are foreign concepts to me — I wanted to alert them to this struggle.

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Originally published: February 2, 2017
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